Oh, The Weather Outside Is Delightful

  Hello Dear Readers! I had to take a bit of a break for a while, and if you are wondering why you couldn't get in to read Insistent and Persistent the past couple weeks, I temporarily changed my privacy settings due to a breach. (Post coming soon: 10 Reasons Not To Friend Your Mother On Facebook--just kidding. But seriously, don't do that. Even if you get along well with your mother.)
    Without further ado, this is why I opened the blog back up and wanted to write today: I've been dreaming of a white Christmas since about July, and in Colorado, we rarely get a real white Christmas. "Real" being defined as snowing on the day or the day before, preferably overnight. This year, once again, it looks like I will be robbed of that dream once again, but on the plus side, IT'S SNOWING!! I wasn't sure if it was actually going to happen--but almost the minute the winter storm watch went into effect up here, it started snowing on my drive home from work.
    Funnily enough, it smelled like rain rather than snow, but there was also a smell of static electricity in the air. I never listen to the weather people when it comes to precipitation in Colorado--they have a nasty tendency to disappoint in terms of accumulation. But sometimes, they underestimate the storm and it dumps a few inches more than expected. As much as I hate scraping car windows and driving near so many crazy people (most of whom are from out of state and have never driven in snow before or just suck at it), I still love the snow.
    My cat (affectionately known as "the furball" received his Christmas present in the mail today--a catnip toy squirrel--another furball. He doesn't love it as much as I'd hoped, but he does like it, so that's good. (I'm hoping this might give him something to do during the day so he will consider leaving the furniture alone.)
    I got most of my shopping done online this year, for the first time. It is quite convenient. And I expect to still have money left over from what I budgeted, which means I may buy myself a rather sizable Christmas present... Or early birthday present. Or early anniversary present. Whatever. It seems like everyone is being a little lean this Christmas, compared with last year, but I think I've spent more than ever.
    I also get to go up skiing this weekend--hopefully this time I will not fall on my face again. Hoping to make great strides in my ski skills so that I won't have to stay on the Bunny Hill for the rest of the season.
    Aside from my blog, I have been getting the opportunity to write for real at work (real this time means I am actually credited!). I cannot tell you how positively tickled I am to be able to do that. I am probably spending way more time on it than i should be, but it's important to me. I want the stuff I'm writing to be good, worthy, sort of. All the other writers on the site are professional writers or journalists and have been for several years, so I feel like I need to write well enough so that I seem like I belong among that group. If you know me, you can find that stuff on Facebook. If you don't, you'll just have to wait until I decide to use my real name around here.
    Remember how I once said bad things happen in threes? I had one of those this past week. My brother got some bad news which meant I got some bad news; I got my FIRST EVER speeding ticket which I am still super-pissed about; and one of my co-workers was let go earlier this week. That one hit hardest. We're a small company, and whenever something like that happens, it affects everyone because we're all pretty close. I think what bothered me most about it was that it happened one week before Christmas.
    Not to put a damper on the holiday spirit, I discovered a new cocktail: gin and ginger ale. I received an excellent bottle of gin from a local craft distillery a couple weeks ago, and I was amazed at how clearly I could still taste the flavors through the ginger ale.
    I am also currently editing my novel that I abandoned the blog for during November. I made all the edits by hand, so now I am transferring all those changes to the document on my computer. Next step will be to revise it. What's the difference, you say? Editing: typos, spelling, grammar, syntax, vocabulary--the nuts and bolts of the writing. Revision: rewriting scenes, adding scenes, deleting scenes, removing or adding characters, etc--the heart of the story. I'm hoping not to do too much revision, because I think after going through it once now, it actually turned out quite well. But, we'll what happens when I really look at it with that in mind.
    Sorry for being out of the loop. I just had to recover a bit from my privacy scare before I was ready to come back here and start sharing again. I welcome you back, and I hope I didn't scare everyone away by changing the security settings for a couple weeks.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Commute or Telecommute - That Is The Question

  If you haven't noticed, and the only way you couldn't have is if you read Insistent and Persistent in an RSS reader rather than directly on the site (though I hope if you do that, you at least visit the site occasionally...), I put a new header at the top of the home page.
    I know the design quality is poor, but what do you expect from a philosophy major with only MS Paint as a tool instead of Adobe Photoshop or Illustrator? My hope is that it will bring a little color to the page :)
    In other news, I got to thinking about working from home today after I read an article on Thought Catalog about the topic. I don't think I'd want to work 40 hours a week from home, because, honestly, I would start buying cookies and ice cream and I'd probably gain another five pounds every month or so. But the thought of working a few hours a week from home is appealing. Maybe two half days or one full day. I wouldn't be interrupted with meetings or drama or crises, and I wouldn't have to drown out my coworkers with my Walkman.
    On the other hand, I wonder whether that is really a good solution to whatever stress or overwhelmed feelings I have, and I know that it probably isn't. Working from home might help relieve some stress, but there are other, better ways to deal with it.
    One is to stop eating so much crap. We eat out so often at work that the only motivation I have to eat out less is financial. I am desperately trying to either eat yesterday's leftovers for lunch or to bring a sandwich and fruit for lunch at least two or three times a week. Also, I really need to quit drinking so much soda, and probably stop having more than the occasional beer (though after the infamous tequila shots incident, I've been damn near abstinent with almost all alcohol).
    The main thing I need to do is stop interneting so much! Of course, I wouldn't cut back on my blogging, but I spend way too much time reading and researching online when I get home, especially considering I spend a lot of my workday online doing the exact same thing. TV is a de-stressor, and reading books are a de-stressor, and writing is a de-stressor for me, but reading news and ads and polls online are all probably doing my mental state more harm than good.
    The last thing I need to do to help my stress levels is to be more active. I'm not a runner or a bicyclist or a tennis player or even a stairmaster user. Because those suck. They're painful, they're not fun, and they make me feel worse, not better, about myself after. Usually because my lung capacity fails me almost immediately. Yoga is the only form of exercise I can stand, but I always give up on it after a while, usually due to time constraints (or since I left school, financial constraints for going to classes). I just have to keep reminding myself that I don't hate it and then make time to do it, which is always hard. Especially with all the interneting.
    My eventual goal was always to be a writer, one that makes money from her writing and can actually make a living at it. But working from home seems to me right now to be just another way to become a recluse. And I like people. Some of them, anyway.

Write More. Read More. Plan More. Critique Less.

Would you work from home if you could? Would you miss anything about going to a workplace?

Discuss it in the comments below! 

The Worst Kinds of People

  I read an article today about the worst kinds of coworkers to have, the loud mouth, the bad influence, the rival, the downer, etc., and it got me thinking about people I know who are like this. Not necessarily coworkers, as I have pretty awesome coworkers, but just people I've known or that I know now who are people I probably shouldn't know.
    As far as someone who talks too much, I'm probably guilty of that one. I don't blab other people's secrets. Not secrets. I do have a tendency to overshare my own thoughts, and sometimes, when it's really good news or really juicy gossip, I have a really hard time not sharing it. Sometimes it's just with my boyfriend, and he doesn't really count because he doesn't talk about anything I tell him to other people, but sometimes it's sharing with my coworkers, and I probably shouldn't share all the stuff I do with them. There are some things that, because we work together, probably should be kept to myself.
    Bad influences, I know a few of those people. The ones that tell you to skip class to go to the brewery, the ones that talk you into coming to that party you didn't want to go to because it was going to be nothing but a bunch of people you don't know drinking stuff you don't want to drink, the ones that convince you to hang out or go do things that you don't have the money to do just because it sounds like so much fun. I think we all have this bone in our bodies--we all do a little peer pressuring from time to time, whether it's something little or something big. The difference is that we aren't the pusher all the time. Some people are always going to dare you to do the thing you know you shouldn't be doing because they have a little danger streak that they want to share.
    Overly competitive people--I was in IB in high school. I didn't finish, but I knew my fair share of overly competitive people. The ones that will always ask what you got on your test and caw happily when they find out they got one point better. (I did enjoy doing better than other people, I just didn't say it out loud that I got the better grade or that I was proud of myself for having gotten it.) The people who will always turn in the paper a week early and stick their hand up first to get their answer in. The only person I think I've ever really competed with is myself. I'll admit, I am a little competitive at work. I want to get my good idea in first, and I want my creativity to shine over everyone else's when I get the chance to. But I'm not the most creative person there, and I don't have the experience with certain aspects of the job that other people do, which limits me in some respects, and it means that that chance to shine doesn't come around as often as it used to when I was in school, getting grades.
    The downer is that person that can always find something negative to say about whatever happens or whatever else is said. I have DEFINITELY known people like this. It's really unfortunate because they're usually decent people, they just have an overly pessimistic outlook on life and people and the world. I have days where everything sucks--I think you'd have to be an automaton if you didn't have days like that at least sometimes, however infrequent. But some people are just distrustful, angry, regretful, and unhappy people that live by the adage misery loves company. These are probably the worst ones on this list because they bring everyone else down too, whether they mean to or not.
    I guess the point here is that while we all may be a little bit like these personalities from time to time, the point is not to be any one of them ALL the time. And maybe to be more like a few other personalities some of the time too--the encourager, the shoulder to lean on, the back-up, the giver--to balance everything out. (Sidenote: Using the new Blogger Interface right now. It's clean, and I like the posting part, LOVE the posting part, but the dashboard is weird. Too clean, too few buttons. Hard to find what you want.)

Be ambitious but not a shark. 

Be realistic not pessimistic. 

Be honest but not tactless. 

What kind of person do YOU think is the worst? 

Or... are you secretly one of them?

Share in the comments. 

Idiots, Unite

  Do you ever have those days where you feel like a total idiot? You've built something up so much in your mind and all of a sudden everything comes crashing down. It seemed like everything would go according to plan, but it didn't. You thought things were one way, but it turns out they were another way all along.
    Isn't it funny how one sentence, a few words strung together can change your whole day? Things were fine. Things were going along pretty well, actually, but one bonehead sentence, one idiotic thing, can make everything different. Your mood can change. Your concentration breaks. You feel like everything is suddenly upside down, and everyone is going along like normal, but you've got a huge rock weighing down in your stomach.
    Every time you recall what was said or what was done, you cringe and shake your head. How could something like that have happened? Shouldn't I be smarter than that? Should I apologize? What would I say? This happens tome on a daily basis. I constantly say something I shouldn't have said. And I always remember it later and wonder why in hell I would have said or done something like that. It's ridiculous.
    But regrets are a waste of time. We have to move forward. And maybe try not to say something quite as stupid the next day. We may fail, we'll probably fail in all likelihood, but 4 hours ago isn't now, and we can't dwell on something that isn't now. No matter how much it hurts, or how stupid it made us feel. There's always going to be someone better than you, smarter than you, faster than you, and more articulate than you, so you may as well get used to the fact that, from time to time, you will make an ass of yourself.
    The best we can do is hope that it happens around people who understand us and who appreciate us, whether we say stupid shit or not. That way, at least they know we probably didn't mean it how it came out, or they know shit happens. People who don't know you somehow always think that shit doesn't just happen. They think everything always goes according to plan, and everything said or done is intentional, but when they're with people they know, they understand that unexpected, unplanned, ridiculous, not-thought-out, stupid stuff comes out of people's mouths. Sometimes it's hurtful; sometimes it's ignorant; sometimes it's out of line, but whatever it is, it should be taken with a grain of salt. We're human. We make mistakes. Sometimes, we make really horrible mistakes. But that doesn't mean we should be treated differently. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Shit happens, and we should accept that as a fact of life, and wait for someone to prove us wrong in the meantime.

Feeling stupid sucks, but it's slightly comforting that everyone else feels stupid sometimes, too.

Pros and Cons of Being a Grown-Up

I had a moment this morning, powering through my work and listening to my MP3 (No, I do not have an iPod, for a reason) when I felt very adult-like. Typing fast, jamming out to Suffragette City and Sunshine Highway, and being totally productive, something I'm mostly able to do now that I don't have to leave halfway through the day to go to school. It was awesome.
    While being a grown-up does suck on occasion: losing a significant amount of my paycheck to taxes, paying rent to apartment Nazis that shut off my water every other week, paying bills, the possibility of getting called for jury duty (yeah, good luck with that one--I've got so many addresses my name is connected to in the past five years!). I wish I could think of more grown-up responsibilities that didn't involve money, but unfortunately, it seems that my life does revolve around finances at the moment.
    There are some pluses to being an adult: I can legally purchase alcohol, I can pay for my own gas (that could be a negative, but for me, it's a pretty big responsibility), I can give money to charity and write it off on my taxes, I can rent an apartment, I can complain to the apartment managers and my complaint actually carries weight, and I can buy my own stuff. That may not seem like much, and much of it does still have to do with money, but being able to support yourself, even if it's rather frugally, is a pretty cool thing.
    I've been living off my parents for twenty-two years, and to be able to pay for my own movie tickets, take my parents out to dinner, buy my own groceries, and even cook some of my own meals. So, adulthood has some things going for it, and some things that are a pain in the ass. I do miss childhood though. I enjoyed high school. It was the only time in my life I really had friends. Almost all my friends are long-distance friends now.
    And I enjoyed life when I was little. My Barbies and stuffed animals, the Bailey School Kids books, R.L. Stine books, getting hooked on movies that weren't produced by Disney, learning to read and write, and learning I was pretty good at both. I think I'm still somewhere in between being a kid and being a grown-up. I only act grown-up around other grown-ups. On my own or with people I'm close to, I act like the crazy teenager I was a few years ago.
    As much as I enjoyed being a kid (though at the time, I couldn't grow up fast enough), I like being grown up too, at least 60 or 70 percent of the time. We may take on more responsibilities and have to deal with things way beyond our maturity level being older, but as long as we never lose our childish enthusiasm, we can stay young at heart. (Side note: I just quoted 2 movies and a song in one sentence. Which ones?)

Live long and prosper.

All Quiet on the Reefer Front

[DAMN!! This was supposed to be published yesterday, but my stupid apartment complex WiFi went out several times, and despite it saying that it got scheduled, it failed, so my apologies. Pretend it's yesterday while you're reading, I guess. :/ ]
Today is April 20th. While a lot of unfortunate things happened on this day, the massacre at Columbine High School, Hitler was born, the damnable oil spill in the Gulf last year, this day also means something special to a lot of Americans. April 20th, or 4/20 as it is affectionately known to some, is an unofficial national holiday for people who like to smoke pot or people who support the legalization of marijuana. While I personally haven't had much to do with this particular day in history, I know plenty of people who have. This year, the day seems to have gone off without a hitch (SO FAR--I don't want to jinx it), a.k.a. no oil spills, natural disasters, or incidents extreme violence and hatred. So, I decided to speak a little to the day and why so many anti-4/20 people could use a little mellowing themselves.
    Marijuana is still illegal in many US states, and is only "legal" for medicinal purposes in some states. For some reason, weed has been labeled a gateway drug that will lead people who smoke it to try other drugs, many more dangerous and harmful like heroin, cocaine, and opium. While there is no unequivocal proof for this claim, many people do believe it. Pot is a mind altering drug, and like other mind altering substances, alcohol, and even tobacco and caffeine, it requires moderation and caution in its usage. However, as far as I know, nobody ever overdosed from smoking too much grass. It requires moderation for different reasons. It can cause some people to lose motivation for anything besides having that lovely high that the THC brings. But, in its defense, those people probably didn't have far to go to lose that motivation anyway.
    Some people think weed is dangerous, and even a threat to the lives and safety of America's youth and everyone else, so that even to consider making marijuana legal seems absurd. This is a fallacy, based on unfounded opinions, rumors, and propaganda. It is more dangerous now, as an "illegal" drug, than it would be as a legal drug. The illegality of it breeds corruption, violence and other dangers, because cartels and growers can turn a higher profit on something that is hard to get due to its illegal status. If marijuana were legal, it could be regulated more closely, and monitored, much like alcohol production is regulated. Take note, there isn't a whole lot of moonshine these days in the states since Prohibition ended. And if the "War On Drugs" would end, with respect specifically to weed (the other illegal drugs should probably stay illegal), not only could we see the negative results disappear, i.e. the violence and secrecy involved with transporting, selling and using an illegal drug, but some positive results could come about as well.
    By legalizing it and regulating it, the government could tax marijuana and generate some more money to combat the tailspin of debt and deficit we have at the moment. The government could control who consumes the product and why. These may not sound like pleasant reasons to the average stoner who wants to fight the powers that be, but on the road to legalization, some compromise must be made, and if that means adding a federal sales tax to the sale of ganja, maybe we should just deal with that.
    So, while the extreme conservatives may still hold that weed is one of the many evil things corrupting the youth and turning everyone into a bunch of unpatriotic, lazy, anarchist, pro-choice liberals, it's high time we try to gain a little perspective on the possibility of there being more greens to cash out of what we call the marijuana industry.