The Key to Coping: Keeping Busy

  I'm sure whoever is still stopping by and reading this is sick of hearing about this, but it's cathartic for me, and since it's my blog, you're SOL.
    I've actually been doing all right overall. I think I had about two or three days in which I lost it a little bit, thinking about being alone and being dumped, but it didn't last all day on any of those days.
    My main anesthetic? Avoidance. Not denial, but avoidance. I have blocked his posts on Facebook. I have removed his contact and photos from my cell phone. I have disconnected myself from his projects for the most part, except for one. The exercise DVD program we had set up on a website is still mine to work with. Why? Because I was doing most of the work on it to begin with, so I figured instead of just throwing away all that hard work I've done over the past several months, I'm going to take over the website and completely reimagine it.
    I'm going to transform it into a broader health related blog, as I think one of its issues before was that it was too narrow a topic and there was not enough good information (i.e. new blog posts) to get people interested in the product. I'm a little concerned I may have bitten off more than I can chew--it's a pretty drastic change, and it will mean I'll have to be posting regular content (in addition to the other 4 blogs I write), but I think it'll be good. It's a new angle, it's going to be more women's health oriented, and it's going to be useful. Instead of just sharing what other people write articles about on Twitter, I'll have my own new articles to share.
    Since I'm not a doctor or a personal trainer or a dietician, I'm going to have to include some disclaimers and make sure that I use credible sources (i.e. not Web MD) for the posts I create, but I think it'll be good. And the best part about it is that I won't have to look at pictures of my ex all over the home page anymore. The DVD will still be included on the website because I don't feel right about removing it completely, but anything related to it, questions and any potential (albeit unlikely) sales that come through will go directly to his email. Only questions/comments relating to the new articles and content on the website will be my responsibility. I don't know whether it will pan out or not, but I'm hopeful.
     Beyond taking on this new project, I've been editing my new book. It's taken up a lot of my time, and there's still so much to do before I release it, so I've been trying to keep up with it all. I'm actually considering paying for some marketing solutions this time around. Partly because I am working now and I have a little bit of extra money to spend (not really, but I have more now than I did when I released the last book when I wasn't working), but also partly because I really want to have this book do well and if it's just up to me to do the marketing, hiring a little temporary contract help for a blog tour may not be such a terrible idea.
    The book itself is coming along well, though. I still have a few more rounds of revisions to get through, but this round has been a lot less painful because it's mostly mechanics and minor tweaks rather than rewrites and major cuts. However, figuring out these mechanics is no easy task. I'm relying on a gigantic textbook of the Chicago Manual of Style and it's not always straightforward where to find the correct usages. Despite how thick it is, I think it could use a better index.
    In any case, keeping so busy has also been helpful in terms of keeping my mind off things. I think in terms of grief over the loss of the relationship, I'm at the anger phase. Not wanting to see, speak, or even think about anything to do with him. Since we don't really have the same friends or even live in the same city, running into each other isn't much of a concern.
    As to the other phases, denial seemed to come and go pretty quickly. I'm not quite sure how the bargaining stage is supposed to play out since I have absolutely no intention of putting myself back into that situation, but I guess I'll find out in the days, weeks, or (I hope not) months to come. Mostly, I'm still trying to keep my head up, focus on what comes next, and hope that whatever happens will be better and I'll be better for it.

Idle hands and what-not.

Hell No, We Won't Go: Stop the Lockout

I am sick of bureaucracy. At the top of my list right now is the potential NHL lockout. I am a puckhead hockey fan all the way. I don't care if it's minors or majors, the hometeam or not--when it comes to hockey, it's just fun to watch. And right now, the ridiculous owners and the not-quite-as-ridiculous-but-still-ridiculous players are debating how much money gets distributed among them all.
    The reason this one gets under my skin is I was old enough to remember the last lockout. I was in 11th grade, and I even wrote an English paper about how stupid I thought the lockout was. (If I ever find it, I'll repost it here--me at 16 is probably pretty funny.) Back then, I blamed Gary Bettman, the commissioner of the NHL. Today, I still kinda do. This guy's on a path to have 3, count 'em, 3, lockouts during his tenure, and the ones who suffer aren't the owners or the players--it's the fans.
    We support our teams. We buy their stuff. We watch their games on TV and when we can, in person. We love those guys. And when somebody says they don't get to play until they come to an agreement about cashflow, we get angry. And you don't want to see hockey fans angry. You wouldn't like us when we're angry.

   
What in the hell do you expect millions of hockey fans across the US and Canada to do when their teams don't get to play this winter? We would watch minor league hockey, but unfortunately, not all those games are widely televised. We could watch basketball or football, but we don't like basketball and football nearly as much as we like hockey. They're poor substitutes for a fast, fun and crazy sport we know as hockey.

    What really gets me is that the teams are still promoting the new season like they have no reason to think it won't happen. Come on, buy your season tickets! Check out opening night! Buy a new jersey for the 2012-13 season! You know what, you settle your petty financial differences and guarantee me a season first, and then I'll feel better about handing over my money for a few games.
    So, there are a few angry hockey fan movements rising up: one girl has started a petition to get Bettman to resign. There are Twitter and Facebook accounts cropping up, @againstlockout, @stopthelock2012, @unfollowNHLSept are just a few.

Check out these articles and blogs for more info:

• http://www.boston.com/sports/blogs/shesgamesports/2012/08/gary-bettmans-remarks-about-nhl-fans-nice-try-but-wrong.html
• http://nyrnation.net/nhl-fans-plan-social-media-protest-of-potential-lockout/
• http://unfollownhlsept15.tumblr.com/

    The Unfollow NHL September 15 group is one of the largest, with almost 2,000 fans in just a short period of time (I think I read a week, but don't quote me on that). These guys are asking fans to protest the lockout by unfollowing and unliking NHL accounts, team accounts, and player accounts, as well as boycotting NHL and team websites, and avoiding purchasing official NHL gear.

    While the group doesn't think their efforts will actually prevent a lockout, it's more about making a statement. The kind of statement that says, hey, we matter. We're your paycheck. Don't forget it. That, I'm all for. Hockey players already make a hell of a lot less than most major league teams, but that doesn't mean they're poor. They make good money. The owners make better money. And that's probably the way it'll always be. But for the two sides to get greedy and demand more, not only that, ask for cutbacks from the other, they're not hurting each other. They're hurting the fans that pay into the pot where all that money comes from.
    So, if you're a hockey fan like me, whether you support the Avalanche, the Kings, the Rangers, or whoever, stand up for your love of the game and join in on the protest of the potential NHL lockout this season.

Go Avs :) Hope you get to play this year!

Batman - Superhero With No Superpowers

  While I probably should chalk my affinity for the Caped Crusader up to the fact that I grew up in the nineties and that's when a lot of the Batman movies were in circulation, not to mention all the animated series, I can't attribute it entirely to that. 

    Yes, Batman has the cool gear, the cool house, the cool cars, and the really attractive dates, but there's more to the Batman than his toys (the dates, of course, are excluded from this category). While I continue to defend Batman against Superman lovers and even Spiderman, Hulk, or other superheroes, I do understand why they prefer those guys to Batman. Bruce Wayne is one wealthy dude. We'd all be superheroes if we had unlimited means and resources to create Batsuits and utility belts and Batmobiles. But I don't think that's the whole story. 

    While those things are incredibly handy (citywide sonar, anyone?), Batman can hold his own without them. The reason he has these things is because he doesn't have a superpower. If Batman was impervious to bullets like the Man of Steel, he wouldn't have to spend all that money on a fancy Batsuit. If Batman could repel down buildings and swing through them like Spiderman without his suit or anchors, he could leave those things in the car. But the thing is, Batman didn't come from an alien planet. He didn't get bit by a radioactive spider. He wasn't born with any genetic mutations that gave him a new ability. And he isn't a bad science experiment that turns green and huge when he gets pissed off. Batman is a regular man. He just happens to have a lot of money. 

Taken from NY Times Online

     But in spite of that, he still finds it necessary to fight evil in Gotham City, however hazardous to his health it may be. He could be one of those wealthy guys that just holes up in his mansion, afraid to go out with so much funky shit going down in the city, worried he might get blood on his $3000 shoes. But he isn't. He is the only guy in that whole city brave enough to go out there, and lucky enough to have the resources to combat people who are hurting Gotham's citizens with noxious gases, mind-control devices, or just a general bad attitude. 

    So, say what you want about the Dark Knight, but you have to admit, where would we be if we didn't have Batman? We'd be bored out of our minds criticizing the old Superman movies (and the new ones) and wondering why they bothered to make 4 Spiderman movies, not to mention a musical. Batman is just a better conversation piece, and the movies aren't bad either (movies meaning Tim Burton's Batman films and Christopher Nolan's films--the other ones sort of fail, on so many levels). 

Kapow!

How about you? Which were your favorite superheroes? Or did you have any favorites?

Share in the comments.

The Worst Kinds of People

  I read an article today about the worst kinds of coworkers to have, the loud mouth, the bad influence, the rival, the downer, etc., and it got me thinking about people I know who are like this. Not necessarily coworkers, as I have pretty awesome coworkers, but just people I've known or that I know now who are people I probably shouldn't know.
    As far as someone who talks too much, I'm probably guilty of that one. I don't blab other people's secrets. Not secrets. I do have a tendency to overshare my own thoughts, and sometimes, when it's really good news or really juicy gossip, I have a really hard time not sharing it. Sometimes it's just with my boyfriend, and he doesn't really count because he doesn't talk about anything I tell him to other people, but sometimes it's sharing with my coworkers, and I probably shouldn't share all the stuff I do with them. There are some things that, because we work together, probably should be kept to myself.
    Bad influences, I know a few of those people. The ones that tell you to skip class to go to the brewery, the ones that talk you into coming to that party you didn't want to go to because it was going to be nothing but a bunch of people you don't know drinking stuff you don't want to drink, the ones that convince you to hang out or go do things that you don't have the money to do just because it sounds like so much fun. I think we all have this bone in our bodies--we all do a little peer pressuring from time to time, whether it's something little or something big. The difference is that we aren't the pusher all the time. Some people are always going to dare you to do the thing you know you shouldn't be doing because they have a little danger streak that they want to share.
    Overly competitive people--I was in IB in high school. I didn't finish, but I knew my fair share of overly competitive people. The ones that will always ask what you got on your test and caw happily when they find out they got one point better. (I did enjoy doing better than other people, I just didn't say it out loud that I got the better grade or that I was proud of myself for having gotten it.) The people who will always turn in the paper a week early and stick their hand up first to get their answer in. The only person I think I've ever really competed with is myself. I'll admit, I am a little competitive at work. I want to get my good idea in first, and I want my creativity to shine over everyone else's when I get the chance to. But I'm not the most creative person there, and I don't have the experience with certain aspects of the job that other people do, which limits me in some respects, and it means that that chance to shine doesn't come around as often as it used to when I was in school, getting grades.
    The downer is that person that can always find something negative to say about whatever happens or whatever else is said. I have DEFINITELY known people like this. It's really unfortunate because they're usually decent people, they just have an overly pessimistic outlook on life and people and the world. I have days where everything sucks--I think you'd have to be an automaton if you didn't have days like that at least sometimes, however infrequent. But some people are just distrustful, angry, regretful, and unhappy people that live by the adage misery loves company. These are probably the worst ones on this list because they bring everyone else down too, whether they mean to or not.
    I guess the point here is that while we all may be a little bit like these personalities from time to time, the point is not to be any one of them ALL the time. And maybe to be more like a few other personalities some of the time too--the encourager, the shoulder to lean on, the back-up, the giver--to balance everything out. (Sidenote: Using the new Blogger Interface right now. It's clean, and I like the posting part, LOVE the posting part, but the dashboard is weird. Too clean, too few buttons. Hard to find what you want.)

Be ambitious but not a shark. 

Be realistic not pessimistic. 

Be honest but not tactless. 

What kind of person do YOU think is the worst? 

Or... are you secretly one of them?

Share in the comments. 

Love Your Neighbor Day

I may have made that one up. Or maybe it really exists and is just on a different day. But it seems like the right message to send out at this juncture, so, love your neighbor today.
    Due to time constraints and feeling too tired to write much, I'm going to be a bit lazy this time, not writing a full post, but don't let that take away from the message here, dear readers. (I at least took the time to track down some good media for this post, if that can be permitted to assuage some my guilt at said laziness.)
   Stop being angry. Stop being vengeful. Stop being cynical. Stop being critical. Stop being resentful. Stop doing everything that hurts someone, especially if that someone is you. If everyone put a little more love out there, maybe the world wouldn't need saving all the time.
    We can't prevent these emotions all day, every day, but for a few minutes, let it all go. Need some inspiration?
    Just push play.

Dionne Warwick-What the World Needs Now

The Beatles-All You Need is Love

Love is all you need.