The World Is a Big Place

Photograph by Mary Lundin, submitted to My Shot via NatGeo

I've had my mind on travel lately, and not just because it's summer, though that's undoubtedly part of it. Somewhere beachy and photogenic sounds best--coastal Maine, California. Or somewhere historic and iconic, Washington DC, Chicago, Boston. I don't know if I'm getting stir-crazy (a strong possibility), or if I'm just feeling like I'm missing out on the world because the 9 to 5 grind has me in its death grip.

I'm not even full-time, so I feel like maybe I shouldn't (or others who are FT think I shouldn't) be complaining about not having had a vacation in two years. But we all wear out. We all lose sight of ourselves and what's important to us, and a vacation is sort of a mentally stabilizing factor that reminds us that the world isn't all spreadsheets and time cards.

Of course, vacation planning can be extremely stressful, mostly financially, but coordinating driving directions, flights, routes, public transportation on arrival, hotel reservations, campsite reservations, and figuring out what's legal to carry on a plane nowadays is a trip unto itself, and not a pleasant one. As if you're supposed to suffer before you get to let it all hang out.

I think mostly I want a vacation to have time to myself. I don't even have to travel out of the state (granted, I do live in a pretty cool one) to do that. Some time alone to read, I'm so behind on my reading, some time away from the Internet, some time to write, some time to think, some time off from the worries, fears, and frustrations of everyday 21st century life.

I've always wanted to travel--like EVERYWHERE. England, France, Italy, Russia, Australia, Thailand, Egypt, New Zealand, Israel, Greece, India, etc. etc. I've always been held back by money, and occasionally by priorities. The "someday" mentality firmly implanted in my mind, as it is in most minds.

There's always something, usually quite a rational something, that's going to hold you back from doing what you want to do, whether it's money, time, family, romance, or fear of air travel, but at some point, you have to decide what you want, and how far you're willing to go to get it. Sometimes, as we all learned well in Risky Business, "you have to say, what the fuck" and run with it.

As much as I'd like to be that person more of the time, I'm still the cautious person who plans everything out and considers everything carefully and thoroughly before making a decision. Maybe that's a good thing. My life overall is in pretty good shape, all things considered. But, it means I don't take risks very often, and while that has kept me out of danger for the most part, it has also kept me from experiencing some of the best things the world has to offer.

via AmericanSongwriter.com

Just a few ruminations on travel, vacations, and what's important.

Runnin' down a dream. 

Of Tips and Tithing Part 2: What happened to "There's no such thing as bad publicity?"

  The tail end of this story is that Applebee's fired the waitress for posting the receipt with the note on it. The pastor complained to management that the "viral" photo had disparaged her reputation.
    Seriously? You do something like that in a public place and you don't expect somebody to talk about it? Tell their friends? Spit in your food next time? Not to mention, this is the 21st century--you can't say, do or write anything anymore without somebody putting it on the internet.
    To say it violated the pastor's privacy is a red herring. A sales receipt isn't a social security number or a bank statement--how many hands and eyes go over a receipt from the time it's printed to the time it gets filed away in the records? Furthermore, I can only assume that the receipt was the "merchant's copy" and not the "customer's copy", so I don't really think the pastor had any rights to privacy over what she submitted to the restaurant for its records.
    I'm not saying we should post everybody receipts online--though it would be an interesting study into how poorly people treat and tip service staff in this country--I'm just saying there are a few things about this particular case that push the limits of common decency.
    On a final note, I am surprised the pastor didn't get fired. If pastors have the cash to be going out to dinner and then having the gall to write something so condescending and nasty to the person who did nothing but wait on them and try to give them a pleasant evening out, they have no right calling themselves pastors or even Christians.
    It goes back to generosity, something I thought was a basic tenet of Christian teachings--something you can't really be lacking if you're going to get ordained as a pastor/minister/priest, etc. This woman who posted the receipt is a waitress, not an investment banker. She gets treated like crap by a dozen different people every day--all I'm saying is you'd think a pastor would have the decency to treat her with a little more kindness and graciousness rather than resorting to derision and hubris over a standard industry practice.

I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.

-Abraham Lincoln

Coming Down to the Wire

Writing stats, 1 day, less than 5 hours before NaNo: 

• 50,009 words completed on my sci-fi work in progress
• 1,000 words or less from finishing my sci-fi work in progress. YES!
• 4 character descriptions (approx.) shy of what I would like to have before I start NaNo
• 1/2 of an outline done for my NaNo plot
• 1 internship accepted at a rate of:
• 5-10 hours per week
• 1 potential part-time job offer in the works

  Figures I'd start having actual commitments to people right before NaNo starts. Like I said last week, when it rains it pours.
  Finally got the new website project transfer completed and redesigned! It's up and running and looks beautiful.
    As far as NaNo goes, I think the biggest problem I'm having is that I've never tried to write a story like this before and my imagination is coming up short. It's a sci-fi alien comedy story. Sort of in the fashion of Douglas Adams, but I'm not that funny. I just had a bit of insight this morning into a direction I could take it, but I still don't have a solid character description for any of my main characters. I have names and a couple of minor personality traits. That's it. Starting to get scared.
    However, now that I've decided which items on my to-do list can be put on hold once NaNo begins, I feel a little better. I just am going to feel guilty every time one of them gets pushed back. My goal is to make better use of my weekends, and with Thanksgiving coming up, I'm hoping a lot of the television shows will go on break for a couple weeks. I am going to have to cut way back on those and watch them on Hulu, which I have found allows me to multi-task better than live shows. In any case, the blogs are probably going to be fewer and farther between, but maybe that will allow me more time to choose more interesting topics.
    In other news, I set up my first free Kindle promotion for the ebook version of my latest book and it has been doing pretty well. I was a little nervous nobody would even look at it, but a fair number have and have downloaded it! Now I'm just nervous that nobody will like it. I hope that the people who do read it (and didn't just add it to their libraries on principle because it was free) like it, and those that do like it leave reviews! We'll see how it plays out over the next few weeks. If it starts getting bad reviews, I may have to start writing under a pen name, though probably not Constant Writer ;)
    As to Hurricane Sandy, I hope everyone out east is staying safe and keeping their spirits up as the storm wraps up. I can't imagine what it's like to see that kind of devastation in your own backyard, but I hope that everyone knows that the entire country is sending out good thoughts, prayers, and well wishes in your direction :)

Stay strong and keep your head up.

Battle Royale: Internet: 4 Me: 1

  I've been trying to transfer my friend's website for about two or three weeks now. Originally, the domain was purchased through Blogger/Google and hosted through a partnership with Enom. It was an easy process, REALLY affordable, and it offered easy design options with the Blogger templates. Then, we wanted to redesign, but Blogger is pretty limited to the templates unless you are an HTML and CSS whiz.
    The first redesign I had little to do with, but this recent one has been a nightmare, mainly because of how difficult it is to transfer a domain from one host to another if you're not a professional IT person. I know my way around pretty well--set up my site and a subdomain on my own. But this new one was just problem after problem.
    On the bright side, it's finally transferred, and we're hoping to wrap up the design within the next day or two. At least now we know about how the process is supposed to go, but it really sucked learning the hard way on this one. Like I said, nightmare.
    It has been a busy week, dealing with problem after problem with the domain setup and design. In addition, I had two interviews, two prove-yourself tests (social media plan and paragraph revision) for two different positions (both of which I have been offered), plus, I still haven't finished my current book and Nano is only 5 days away.
    I am really getting nervous about Nano this year. With all this other stuff I have going on, and barely having time to write my book as it is, cranking out 50k words next month is starting to look really scary. I still think I can do it, but I am going to have to drop the blogging quite a bit, and the social media (between Twitter, Triberr and Goodreads, I'm amazed I get as much done as I do!).
    Anyway, looking forward to checking out a local minor league hockey game for the first time this year and getting a break from all the hubbub!

When it rains, it pours.

On the Fringe

  This weekend, I got the chance to attend the Boulder Fringe Festival for the first time. I like theater and culture and festivals, so I thought it'd be a good opportunity. Luckily for me, I applied as a reviewer, and in exchange for reviews, I got a free press pass, allowing me to see all the shows for free :D Plus, the reviews would link back to my website--bonus! Five to seven shows in four days--I figured I could handle that. 200 word reviews, not bad at all. How very wrong I was.
    First things first: the festival started on Thursday, a day that I had already agreed to meet a friend up in Fort Collins. I didn't get back home until 9 or 10. Thursday shows were out. Friday, I just didn't go, and that was my bad. Little did I know, I'd have so many things trying to prevent me from seeing the performances over the weekend.
    Being the balanced person I like to think I am, I decided to see not five or seven shows, but six--three Saturday and three on Sunday. But the universe had other plans. Saturday morning, I agreed to drive out to Evergreen to meet the bf for breakfast--One World Cafe, if you haven't been there, it's really good food, and beer for breakfast :) I left at about 1pm. I thought I'd given myself my plenty of time to get from there to Boulder by 2:30, the start time of the first show I wanted to see. I still had to pick up my press pass, so I allowed for extra time for that and parking as well.
    But the 2:30 show wasn't in the cards. There was an accident on I-70 east and my GPS and the road signs told me to exit and take an alternate route, which I did, but US-40 wasn't going any faster. In fact, being it's only one lane, I think it was actually going slower. By the time I got out of the traffic on US-40, it was after 2 o'clock. I still had to get through Golden and head up 93 to get to Boulder. There was a little traffic in Golden too, as it turned out, and apparently I wasn't going fast enough for the speed demons on 93, so I got passed quite a few times.
    When I finally got to Boulder, it was three. I parked my car about halfway between the main theater and the main box office, which was at a coffee shop nearby. However, GPS got me lost again, thinking the coffee shop was farther up the street than it actually was.
    Once I had my pass, I had to sit down and rearrange my schedule for the next two days. Getting the press pass, I was assigned to see 4 shows, and then see at least one additional show to write a review on. Luckily for me, the assigned shows still had times left to see them by the end of the day on Sunday, though it meant I'd have to see a much later show than I had originally intended.
    I saw the Saturday shows, and wrote my reviews that night. One I loved, one was just ok, and the other was really not so great. I tried to be nice in my review, but I couldn't ignore some of the bigger flaws.
However, time was not the only thing against me: our crappy Century Link internet has been flickering on and off for the past week or so and of course, when I actually have something that I'm supposed to get done--something for someone besides me--it decides to go down and not come back. I know everybody hates Comcast, but they do have better, more consistent internet even if there are other flaws in their system.
    So, with no internet to go home to Sunday night to finish my reviews, I decided to write them in between the Sunday performances and type them up and email them from my Kindle using a free wifi connection. Unfortunately, the Boulder Public Library closes at 6:30 on Sunday and my last show was at 9:30-10:30. I headed to the nearby shops and found a Panera where I sat until after 9 typing up my reviews on the tiny, wonky Kindle keyboard. I had one more to type and one more to write by the time I had to go to the last show. When I got out, you know what I discovered? Panera shuts down their wireless after 10:30, which I had intended to use from my car in the parking lot which was still within range. I drove around the shopping center hoping for someone else to offer wifi after 10:30, but I wasn't having any luck.
    Fortunately, I was rescued. My bf called to check in and offered to let me come up to Longmont to the house to use the internet. I got all my reviews in, mostly on time (it was after midnight by the time I finished, but it was before anyone was at the office to read them, so I figure that's on time), and went home.
    While it was fun checking out shows that normally I wouldn't have the time or money to see, I will be a little more careful about signing up for things like this in the future. I definitely would have preferred picking more of my own shows to review and even though I technically had four days to see them in, I think I would have preferred more time. Of course, things were working against me this weekend, but now that I know my way around and know how long stuff takes, I will know how much I can really handle the next time around.

On the plus side, the internet's back.

The Holiday Spirit Appears Early

  I used to insist on waiting until Thanksgiving was over before I even started thinking about Christmas. I even skipped Christmas one year (i.e. did not buy presents or ask for any or put up a tree or anything--though not everyone listened when I said I didn't want anything) to protest the level of commercialism it had attained.
    However, sometimes after you go without something for long enough, the next time it comes around makes you appreciate it even more. (One case in point, the NHL lockout a few years ago made me realize how much I enjoyed watching hockey, even though I had not watched too much of it in the previous couple of seasons.) Case in point two: I really missed Christmas after I skipped it that year.
    I enjoy shopping for Christmas presents and making cookies and putting up the tree and singing Christmas music. Even the people who are hard to shop for, I don't mind as much because I enjoy the season. The lights and the colors and especially the movies. I know there aren't too many people who get to have a happy ending Hollywood version of Christmas anymore, and it has become overly commercialized over the past few decades, but it's still a lovely thought. Thinking about children believing in Santa, families coming together, forgetting all your misanthropy and cynicism and giving in to the holiday spirit, and spreading good cheer and good will towards men (PC term=humanity).
    I already started searching for Christmas presents, as I plan to do a lot of my shopping online this year. I'm hoping that 1) this will save me a little bit of money, 2) I can find things for the hard-to-shop-for people a little easier, 3) this will help me get most of my shopping done earlier rather than last minute, and 4) this will allow me to find a few things that you just can't find at a Target or a JC Penney's.
    I blame this recent surfacing of Christmas spirit on the huge snowstorm we had in my neck of the woods this week. I woke up on Thursday and said, wow, it looks just like Christmas! While most of it's melted already, as the temperatures shot back up into the fifties again, it doesn't change the fact that I'm already dreaming of a white Christmas (despite that we maybe get one every ten years here because it refuses to snow ON Christmas--it always snows too early or too late and it's all melted by the Christmas day arrives).

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

What are your thoughts on this (somewhat) impending holiday? 

Love it? Hate it? (FYI: If you say you hate it, you will henceforth be known as the Grinch.) 

What's your favorite, or least favorite, part about it?
Share in the comments.

Commute or Telecommute - That Is The Question

  If you haven't noticed, and the only way you couldn't have is if you read Insistent and Persistent in an RSS reader rather than directly on the site (though I hope if you do that, you at least visit the site occasionally...), I put a new header at the top of the home page.
    I know the design quality is poor, but what do you expect from a philosophy major with only MS Paint as a tool instead of Adobe Photoshop or Illustrator? My hope is that it will bring a little color to the page :)
    In other news, I got to thinking about working from home today after I read an article on Thought Catalog about the topic. I don't think I'd want to work 40 hours a week from home, because, honestly, I would start buying cookies and ice cream and I'd probably gain another five pounds every month or so. But the thought of working a few hours a week from home is appealing. Maybe two half days or one full day. I wouldn't be interrupted with meetings or drama or crises, and I wouldn't have to drown out my coworkers with my Walkman.
    On the other hand, I wonder whether that is really a good solution to whatever stress or overwhelmed feelings I have, and I know that it probably isn't. Working from home might help relieve some stress, but there are other, better ways to deal with it.
    One is to stop eating so much crap. We eat out so often at work that the only motivation I have to eat out less is financial. I am desperately trying to either eat yesterday's leftovers for lunch or to bring a sandwich and fruit for lunch at least two or three times a week. Also, I really need to quit drinking so much soda, and probably stop having more than the occasional beer (though after the infamous tequila shots incident, I've been damn near abstinent with almost all alcohol).
    The main thing I need to do is stop interneting so much! Of course, I wouldn't cut back on my blogging, but I spend way too much time reading and researching online when I get home, especially considering I spend a lot of my workday online doing the exact same thing. TV is a de-stressor, and reading books are a de-stressor, and writing is a de-stressor for me, but reading news and ads and polls online are all probably doing my mental state more harm than good.
    The last thing I need to do to help my stress levels is to be more active. I'm not a runner or a bicyclist or a tennis player or even a stairmaster user. Because those suck. They're painful, they're not fun, and they make me feel worse, not better, about myself after. Usually because my lung capacity fails me almost immediately. Yoga is the only form of exercise I can stand, but I always give up on it after a while, usually due to time constraints (or since I left school, financial constraints for going to classes). I just have to keep reminding myself that I don't hate it and then make time to do it, which is always hard. Especially with all the interneting.
    My eventual goal was always to be a writer, one that makes money from her writing and can actually make a living at it. But working from home seems to me right now to be just another way to become a recluse. And I like people. Some of them, anyway.

Write More. Read More. Plan More. Critique Less.

Would you work from home if you could? Would you miss anything about going to a workplace?

Discuss it in the comments below! 

Why Google+ Will Still Overtake Facebook

  It's official. Google+ is public. And it's spreading like wildfire. People are ready for a new option to socialize online, and Google+ is the answer. They have combined elements from Facebook and Twitter and made them more accessible, user-friendly and interesting for people to use. You know what's really cool? I joined Google+ with my Blogger username and I already have 4 complete strangers who have added me to their circles within a week, which is actually much faster than my other Google username got people adding me to my circles and I know those people offline. (Sorry, complete strangers if you've been following my blog and I just haven't realized it. Try connecting with Insistent and Persistent using Google Friend Connect. Hint hint.)
    You can also share your circles with people on Google+ so everyone else can see who you're stalking, I mean following. (Sidenote: Thanks, Mashable, for doing all this research so I don't have to.)
    The public grand opening, so to speak, of Google+ just happens to coincide with Facebook releasing a whole slew of new features trying to keep up with, er, compete, with Google+. They rearranged the news feed, meant to look a little more like Twitter and the Stream that you can narrow down with Google+ Circles, and they also created new "lists", obviously meant to imitate Google+ Circles, so you can organize your Facebook friends by location, favoritism, and work, or whatever you want, basically. However, it's still not as easy as Google+ Circles. There are way too many steps in the process. The lists thing is also only visible on the home page of Facebook, and it would be much more useful and practical if it were in the navigation menu so it could be easily accessed.
    With a little help from the social media team at work, I have also seen firsthand the new Facebook timeline thing that all profile pages are going to be converted to in short order. It is pretty snazzy, but only if you want your entire life history on Facebook. I can see the benefits of it, but I just don't care to share that much of my life with the online community, even my limited pool of Facebook friends. It's supposed to be like a scrapbook thing, but considering that I sort of suck at taking pictures, I don't see that this new format will benefit me that much. It actually makes your Facebook profile look a little like the old MySpace pages or a personal blog.
    Facebook knew that Google+ was coming after them, which is why all these changes have sprung up. (Memo to Facebook/Mark Zuckerberg: A little warning might've been nice. An email, perhaps...) But I think they may be pissing people off more than making them want to stick with Facebook rather than try Google+. We shall see.

Why does "Google" sound like a dirty word?

Check out Constant Writer on Google+, and join, if you haven't already! 

I will be sharing my blog posts, and some others that I find interesting or relevant there. 

So, dear readers, what do you think of the new Google+? 

Is it better, worse, or about the same as other social media mediums like Facebook and Twitter?

Lonesome Town: Or, How I'm Learning to Stop Worrying and Live Alone

  Living alone is strange. It's been a while since I have lived alone, a little over two years. It takes a little getting used to. I'm also in a different situation than the last time I lived alone: I'm out of school, working full-time, and I have my cat living here. I'm trying to make it a home, not just a place where I keep my stuff, and that's different too. That is expensive, I've discovered. I had some money set aside specifically to help me get some of the essentials, the things that I would need to live here indefinitely. I'm operating under the assumption that I won't be moving out at the end of my lease, also somethign I've never done before. I still kind of feel like that's what people do, for whatever reason. College town, I guess.
    In any case, I've moved most of the stuff from my dad's house up here, and I've got furniture, my furniture that I don't have to give back to anyone after I move out. I am even working on hanging pictures, not just posters or magazine cut-outs, a hold-out habit from my high school days, but actual pictures with frames and everything. It's strange trying to be a real grown-up who pays bills, buys their own groceries, does laundry in the machines in the complex as opposed to at mom's or dad's, and has to cook for themselves because eating out all the time gets so expensive. I don't mind some of it, only I wish it didn't cost so much. I like having all my stuff in one place. I like having some of the responsibility, and I like that when I go home, I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't feel like it.
    The cat is getting used to being here--he's already found the ONE piece of furniture that I hadn't covered with something to prevent it from becoming a scratching post and turned it into a scratching post. But now that I've identified it, he will be SOL. I'll have to get him a scratching post, a real one, that he can do whatever he wants with. Boy, was he terrified today, though! His bowl was *gasp* almost empty when I got home! He sounded a little hoarse actually, like he'd been crying for a while for someone to feed him. I think he really believes that he will starve if he ever completely cleans the bowl, like no one will ever fill it again if he eats it all. I'd really like to get him on a schedule where he gets a proper serving size twice a day, but I have a feeling he might take out his frustration on the ottoman, aka scratching post.
    I mostly like being alone here, alone meaning without people, because while the cat speaks, it's not in English. I can watch whatever I want on TV, I can spend however long I want online, I can eat spaghetti four nights in a row without judgment, and I don't have to worry about anyone leaving the toilet seat up in the middle of the night. But there are times when I feel a little funny about being here by myself. I'm not particularly concerned about burglary being on the second floor and having so many neighbors around all the time, but I worry about getting trapped under a bookshelf with no one to come home and rescue me, or choking on a pretzel and having no one to thump me on the back to help me cough it up.
    This place even feels a little bit big, even with the cat. I wish I had more storage and closet space, but who doesn't? The rooms feel big, the bedroom in particular. I don't have enough stuff to fill the place, and yet I almost have too much. The living room is packed, two bookshelves, two small shelves for movies, the TV, a small kitchen table I'm using as a desk, a loveseat, and a chair. It's not crowded, but it's definitely full. I just don't want to buy something else for the bedroom unless I know I'll use it, and not just for table space.
    It's quiet here, and my plants seem to be enjoying the east and west windows instead of the overpowering sun from south facing windows like they're used to. I really should try to become a better cook, so I can do a little better than spaghetti and cheese for dinner occasionally. But in the meantime, I'll keep sleeping diagonally in my bed because I don't have to share it with anyone, and I'll keep watching TV and watching movies online because no one's going to tell me I should go outside or do something more productive, and I'll keep squirting the cat with the water bottle until he learns that the ottoman is not a scratching post. It's almost bedtime, as I have been a little sick since yesterday and I need to get a little extra rest.

At least it's whole wheat spaghetti, right?

What was your reaction to living by yourself for the first time? 

Fear? Independence? Homesickness? Freedom, at long last? Or something else entirely? 

Share in the comments. 

Yes, I'm now soliciting comments, dear readers. Kindly play along ;)

What I Do For A Living

  So one of my coworkers found this really awesome infographic yesterday: How Google Works. (I was TOTALLY going to insert it into the blog here, because they have some HTML code to do so, but it was about 20 pixels wider than my main content column, so I decided against it. UPDATE: I did preview it with the whole thing in there and it looked really buggered up, so just check it out on their site.) The infographic breaks down the process, in every excruciating detail, of how Google finds what you're looking for when you do a search. It's pretty extensive, to say the least.
    I'm not an SEO expert, and I've only been working in the Internet marketing and Search Engine Optimization business for about a year now (one year next month!), but this infographic really explains a lot about what we do where I work. Right now, I've been mostly managing the content for our sites, but part of what I do is making sure that search engines, like Google, can find the articles that we post to our sites by using SEO techniques. I can't say what we do or how we do it, as that would sort of be like exposing trade secrets--which is somewhere in that fifteen page document I signed when I started work--but knowing a little bit about how Google actually finds stuff is helpful to that aspect of how I do my job.
    I just thought it was interesting, and in such a world in which we rely on Google to tell us pretty much everything about our world, I thought some of you might find it interesting too.

Google it. If Google doesn't know, no one does. Or you suck at searching.

Resume Building Is Hard Work!

  I just updated (but still only 80% complete) my LinkedIn profile to include some more skills, past work experience, and a summary, among other things, and I think I've been at it for two or more hours! I'm not looking for another job at the moment, but as volatile as the internet business is, I think it's better to be on the safe side and be 80% prepared in case anything should happen that would put me out of work.
    Needless to say, I was pretty thorough in the parts of it that I completed. I wrote what I think is a rather clever summary (Translation: it may contain too many attempts at humor and not enough actual job experience/information), and I pretty much copy/pasted my coworker's specialties and inserted a few of my own that fit better with my job description. It's probably a damn good thing I didn't start writing this blog until I was employed or 2010 would have been a hell of a depressing year with me talking about the USA Arcade on USANetwork.com, and how unfortunate it was that nobody would give me a chance. Not many people know what the hell to think of some kid who spent four (though technically I finished in 3.5) years in college studying philosophy, let alone people who actually know what you'd study if you studied philosophy.
    I am incredibly content to be employed, though I don't quite make enough to satisfy any apartment landlords application requirements without a cosigner. I get to do interesting things at work, I work with amazing people, and every now and again I get to write or edit or come up with some creative tweak to some design or plan we're working on. I'm not even going to complain about my job, although I could--I always can find something to complain about.
    But back to the resume thing. I do find it rather entertaining that LinkedIn makes completing your profile like a game, where you have to get 100% or you can't win. I suppose job searching and networking is like a game. You have to say these words, and not those ones, have these skills, and be clever or lucky enough to get to the end of it all unscathed. (I couldn't decide between a card game metaphor or a board game metaphor, so I dodged both.)
    So, with my profile 4/5 complete, I think I'll move on to slightly more interesting endeavors this evening for the remaining hour or so that I get to stay up. Some online movies, or Stephen King? Decisions, decisions.

Decision made: No King before bed--King=nightmares!

Basic Instincts

  Remember what I said about tolerance a while back? Forget all that. Just kidding. [PS: Apologies for not posting lately. My internet's been down ): ]
    Why is that we feel it's okay to stop tolerating people? Or not tolerate certain people. Certain people "bring it on themselves" or "have a bad attitude" or are just "different" that they don't deserve our acceptance. At least, this is what we like to tell ourselves. I'll admit, as preachy as I may get, I'm guilty of this one. Every now and again, I'll meet a person who I immediately just don't like. This dislike may occur for various reasons--while I like to blame it on pheromones, that may not be the entire truth of the matter. It's physiologically possible for us to dislike people based on the pheromones they excrete, just like it's physiologically programmed for us to be attracted to certain people based on their pheromones. It's a tactic we've evolved to help us find the most suitable mates and most evolutionarily compatible (i.e. non-threatening and non-harmful) companions. But pheromones may also warn us to stay away from certain people the way taste buds warn us about harmful foods.
    I'm no scientist, by anyone's standards. So, take this scientific speak with a grain of salt based on my limited understanding of how the body, and brain, work. If something is bitter, our taste buds let us know, and many times we will tend to avoid that food in the future. If someone's pheromones are distasteful, so to speak, our brain tells us we may want to avoid that person. Here's a question: should we trust our initial physiological instinctive reactions, or should we give people a second chance and try to let them overcome their biology with their psychology?
    Normally, I'd say the latter, but these physiological reactions exist for a reason--self-preservation. Maybe these people aren't all axe murderers or evil geniuses, but what is the reason that our bodies react against them? Perhaps they aren't physically harmful, but psychologically, it's possible. Misery loves company, as they say, and these people we instinctively dislike may be psychologically harmful, if they are negative people, pessimistic people, or just unhappy people. The question is, does our biology pick up on this negativity and send a message to stay away from them so as not to pollute our own psychological well-being? Or am I just whistling dixie out of my ass to justify why we dislike some people?
    As much as I'd like to believe that we all have it within us to be kind and generous and good-hearted towards everyone and anyone, I do believe that there are some people that we will just never like. We may be able to be civil to them and put on a good face, but there will always be something about them that will rub us the wrong way.
    While there aren't too many people out there, I'm talking real people that you meet--not celebrities, politicians, or athletes--that I honestly dislike for whatever reason, there are a couple. I can get along with most anyone, and I try to. I hate confrontation, and I suck at arguments, so staying on people's good sides is something I work very hard at. But every now and again, there comes a person that I genuinely just don't like. I can never put my finger on exactly why. I can give reasons, they have a bad attitude, they're too cocky, they're disrespectful, etc, but those things are not the whole story. They're reasonable reasons for not liking someone, but the dislike goes beyond that. There is just something about them, a je ne sais quoi, but in a bad way, that turns me off about them.
    Clearly, I haven't really made much of an argument for either side of this topic, whether we dislike people for a real physiological reason or whether we make up reasons for why we dislike them, and then there's the further thought: do we trust our instincts about people or should we give them the benefit of the doubt?
    Personally, I think we do dislike people for physiological reasons sometimes, and when that happens, we ought to give them a second chance, or even a third, to redeem themselves. Sometimes they'll surprise you. But sometimes, you're not going to like them no matter how hard you try, and the most you can do is just be nice to them as best you can, and not let the negativity you get from them eat away at you.

Attraction or aversion: which is more easily overcome?

Go Viral

  So, I had a computer virus on my trusty laptop last night. Another Trojan Horse, as usual. But since I hadn't had a computer virus in about two and a half years, I was quite panicked. This one was extremely malicious, as it knocked out Avast! and shut it down completely. After logging into Windows (Yes, I'm a PC), my entire screen was black except for a small pop-up window in the center that said something like: "An unauthorized change has been made to Windows limiting its functionality." Yeah, a virus snuck around my firewall. And then I was left with two options: Learn more online, or Close. Understand, dear readers, I had no desktop, taskbar or anything, none of my programs would open using shortcut keys, and yet, amazingly enough, my computer was connected to the Internet.
    I quickly discovered if I clicked Close that the virus kicked me back to my start-up screen asking me to log into Windows again, returning me to the same black screen with the same pop-up. Clicking Learn more online opened my web browser and took me to an interesting URL trying to upsell me on Windows 7. It almost looked like a legitimate webpage, but the graphics were a little off, the functionality was suspicious, and when the URL opened, it appeared that it had redirected from another funky URL that was much longer. I managed to get through to Microsoft tech support via chat (after managing to contact what I assume was a malicious chat person who asked to remotely log into my computer), and they helped me install new virus protection software, which was able to catch the virus and remove it.
    I rather enjoy live chat. They may not be from around here, but if they know what they're doing and can help me, I got nothing against them. I then updated my security measures on my computer, compulsively, trying to make them even harder to break through than before. And what gets me is I don't shop online. These guys attacked a computer and failed miserably because they can't even steal any financial info from me. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Trojan Horse creating dickheads.
    Reminder to all: use a password for EVERYTHING. Don't use the same one for them all either. And make them challenging. Numbers, capitals, characters (when allowed) are all good. Definitely don't use passwords that can be guessed at by looking at other stuff on your computer. And always have more than one virus protection software on your computer. Avast! failed me for the first time in two years. Try another one, or two, on top of it and together, you'll have a better chance of preventing serious damage.

Can't touch this. Hackers :P

Privacy Please: An Analyis of Its Disappearance

  While the advent of social media has been great for improving communication in many cases, it also marks the disappearance of privacy in many ways. You can't be Facebook friends with your boss unless you're okay with him/her seeing that you spent your entire Friday night drinking beers with your friends or that you just beat Guitar Hero, again. And don't get me started on being friends with parents on Facebook. No matter how old you are, they will inevitably disapprove of certain things that you, or your other friends, post on your wall.
    But Facebook is just the start. There is still some element of privacy to it. You don't have to friend your mom or your boss. You can make your profile private so that only your Facebook friends can view what you post to it. Twitter has two options: private or public. And most blogs are the same way. You approve or disapprove the people who want to follow you and read what you have to say. But you may still have to censor yourself.
    The Internet has made privacy pretty much nonexistent, even with all the privacy settings you can add to what you might share online. Once you say something online, you can't take it back. There is a permanent digital record of all of it, somewhere, in cyberspace. Even if you delete it. And that makes honesty a real challenge sometimes, because knowing that what you say in the virtual world can come back to haunt you in the real world is kind of scary. Some people just don't realize this. But some of those that do censor what they say.
    However, taking everyone into account for censorship is a major pain in the ass. Some people will think what you have to say is funny or interesting or cool, and others will be offended or dismayed. When speaking to someone directly, some censorship is appropriate at times, though it's called tact instead. But in writing, there shouldn't be any censorship. Because then it's no longer honest. And what is the point of sharing what you're thinking through words if you're not going to be honest about it?
    As much as it has pained me, I have kept a lot to myself because I didn't want to have the people I already know think of me differently because of what I might say. And I have kept the existence of this blog and some other writing I've done a secret from certain people for that same reason. I wanted to be able to say what I thought here, and certain people might disagree. I welcome disagreement from you, dear readers, because I know that 9 times out of 10, if not more, I am completely full of shit. But I'd rather not have to argue with the people I see and speak to all the time because of some ridiculous hypothesis I put forth here.
    One day, I hope, what I have to say will be open and available for everyone, and I'll take the flack for it when that day comes. But for now, I'll write for you and for myself, and not worry about what judgment you may pass on me because of it.

The pen is, in fact, mightier than the sword.

Fall of the Machines

Television and internet, for some reason, have saturated me with Judgment Day and the potential impending doom of humankind this week. Terminator 2 and Terminator Salvation have been running on various channels. I read an article about animal cyborg technology. And then there are all the people insisting that the world is going to end on May 21st.
    It's hard to take anyone seriously who attempts to predict the future. No one can see all the factors that play into each moment that happens. There are simply too many. So it's not easy to believe people who are predicting the zombie apocalypse, judgment day, the rapture, or any other end-of-the-world scenario. The world is just too complicated to believe that we can know not only that there will be some single event that puts an end to all of it, but that we can know when it's going to happen.
    But, I digress. My main focus of discussion was going to be the rise of the machines thing. Maybe there's no August 29, 1997 where the machines become self aware and decide to devastate the entire human race, but the rapid advance of technology does occasionally make me worry about stuff like this. We're probably years, even decades, away (if the nutjobs are wrong and the world does in fact last that long) from being able to create the kind of robots or cyborgs or whatever that could cause that kind of destruction, but it doesn't even have to go that far. One group or collective could gain this kind of technology and only wipe out part of the human race. A particularly threatening part that does not fit into their world domination agenda.
    I'm not arguing for a god of any kind, but there is a line that ought not to be crossed by humans, mainly because we're not gods, no matter how much technology we develop or how insurmountable our powers may become. With some things, I think we need to let sleeping dogs lie. And some technology, like mind control stuff and creating robots or computers that can think for themselves, may seem cool and amazing at first, but it's one of those things that may turn out to be more dangerous and unpredictable than we imagined. There's a reason Planet of the Apes and the Terminator movies are scary--if that ever happened, we would really be up shit's creek trying to undo what was done because it took on a mind of its own and became something we could no longer control.
    Cars, airplanes, cell phones and MP3 players are all useful bits of technology that we can be thankful for. And while such things as cars that drive themselves and cell phones that can predict the next words out of your mouth (thereby being able to make your calls for you) may sound pretty cool, we need to know when to stop, when we're about to go too far. What worries me is we either don't know those things, or we don't care. I hope that we do make that distinction when the time comes, and that we make the right choice. Because I really would rather not die at the hands of a terminator.

Hasta la vista, baby.

Down with the Internet?

What would we do without the Internet? 

    Seriously. We get our news, check our email, update our Facebook statuses, look at our horoscopes, find recipes, play video games, chat, search for that song we have stuck in our heads, and a gajillion other things every single day.
    We can even get the web on our cell phones now so we don't have to be away from the Internet while we work or attend school or anything. It's a love affair that's grown to the point of obsession for many. I admit, I don't think I would go very long without it. If I didn't have it at home, I'd be at the library or a computer lab on campus to check in with the many sites I feel obligated to visit daily, or at least weekly.
    If anyone saw the news this week (and it was kind of hard to avoid) about the Internet getting completely shut down in Egypt, your heart should have skipped a beat once the terrifying thought occurred of something like that happening here. Of course, the US is a much larger country than Egypt, and we have more Internet companies and ways to connect than they do, it still is a scary thought for many of us.
    Perhaps people would learn to love their televisions again, without the comforts of streaming Netflix or Hulu or today's headlines on CNN. But as there was in Egypt, I think there would be mass chaos, confusion, and uprising. Give us healthcare, that's one thing. Take away our Internet, we're gonna have words. Something like the loss of the Internet would cause a larger panic and full-on riot than any Stanley Cup playoffs, Super Bowl games, or even, I think, financial crisis could cause.
    We, as Americans, have grown used to instant gratification, and the loss of the greatest resource to achieve that end would create unprecedented amounts of upheaval.
    So, here it comes: are we too attached to this thing that didn't even exist 20 or 30 years ago? There was no Internet, nor did the average household even have a computer in it when I was born 23 years ago. We could get into the cell phone thing as well while we're at it, but I think the American population as a whole would be more distraught over the loss of the Internet than over the loss of cell phones. This is for the simple facts that if we lost phones and still had the Net, we could still Skype and IM and email. And, there would still be landlines in this scenario. But, I digress (which I knew was going to happen even though I really didn't want it to).
    I know that I, for one, am way too attached to the Internet. I check my email upwards of 10 times a day (that's 10 times or more PER ACCOUNT each day); I check the sports stats and scores; I look up words and search for people and places; I read article after article, blog after blog; I check my Facebook religiously too, even though there usually isn't much new content on mine.
    Let's examine this word with regard to Internet usage: religious. Is the Internet the new religion for the 21st century, at least in this country? I don't mean religion in the sense of it being a god, so don't jump down my throat yet. I mean religion in the sense of the Internet being something that we look to for guidance, for information, on not only how to lead our lives, but as a way to actually lead our lives. There are people who become their online identities and spend so much time online that they do not exist in the "real world" except to eat, drink, and otherwise keep their bodies alive and functioning. Now, I'm not saying everyone does this, or even that everyone wants to spend all their time online, but with the Internet available to us, 24 hours a day, every day--literally in the palms of our hands--it has attained the kind of status that an icon, relic, or talisman has. It's something we have to have, not just want to, but have to have, all the time, whenever we might need it.
    And there's no escaping it. You use it at work, you use it for school, you use for so many daily tasks that you used to be able to do or look for elsewhere--in books, from neighbors or friends, even on that not-so-distant relative, the television. While it doesn't look like we'll be losing our Internet connection any time soon, it might be a good idea to take a little break. Just to see how long you can go without it. See if you can really get through your day. I'll see if I can get through mine.
    One last thing, dear readers: it's a pretty safe assumption that should you accomplish this, the sky will not fall, the stars will not fade, and life will go on mostly as it has before.

Food for thought.