Idiots, Unite

  Do you ever have those days where you feel like a total idiot? You've built something up so much in your mind and all of a sudden everything comes crashing down. It seemed like everything would go according to plan, but it didn't. You thought things were one way, but it turns out they were another way all along.
    Isn't it funny how one sentence, a few words strung together can change your whole day? Things were fine. Things were going along pretty well, actually, but one bonehead sentence, one idiotic thing, can make everything different. Your mood can change. Your concentration breaks. You feel like everything is suddenly upside down, and everyone is going along like normal, but you've got a huge rock weighing down in your stomach.
    Every time you recall what was said or what was done, you cringe and shake your head. How could something like that have happened? Shouldn't I be smarter than that? Should I apologize? What would I say? This happens tome on a daily basis. I constantly say something I shouldn't have said. And I always remember it later and wonder why in hell I would have said or done something like that. It's ridiculous.
    But regrets are a waste of time. We have to move forward. And maybe try not to say something quite as stupid the next day. We may fail, we'll probably fail in all likelihood, but 4 hours ago isn't now, and we can't dwell on something that isn't now. No matter how much it hurts, or how stupid it made us feel. There's always going to be someone better than you, smarter than you, faster than you, and more articulate than you, so you may as well get used to the fact that, from time to time, you will make an ass of yourself.
    The best we can do is hope that it happens around people who understand us and who appreciate us, whether we say stupid shit or not. That way, at least they know we probably didn't mean it how it came out, or they know shit happens. People who don't know you somehow always think that shit doesn't just happen. They think everything always goes according to plan, and everything said or done is intentional, but when they're with people they know, they understand that unexpected, unplanned, ridiculous, not-thought-out, stupid stuff comes out of people's mouths. Sometimes it's hurtful; sometimes it's ignorant; sometimes it's out of line, but whatever it is, it should be taken with a grain of salt. We're human. We make mistakes. Sometimes, we make really horrible mistakes. But that doesn't mean we should be treated differently. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Shit happens, and we should accept that as a fact of life, and wait for someone to prove us wrong in the meantime.

Feeling stupid sucks, but it's slightly comforting that everyone else feels stupid sometimes, too.

Grow Up! Or Keep What Childishness Is Left...

  That's directed at me, not you. Speaking profanity loudly while strangers are in the next room at your office is generally frowned upon. Technically we got away with it (I did not act alone this time), but it's not "professional". While we do work with some less than "family friendly" sites where I work, and profanity is a veritable part of working with those sites, censoring or at least talking a little more quietly, is probably something I should do being in the position I'm in.
    However, I suck at censoring when I'm around people I usually don't have to censor myself with, i.e. boys. Swearing like a sailor is something I've done for a really long time because I spend so much time around guys who swear like sailors. I will censor around children--no problems with that whatsoever. But around adults, it seems silly to me. If you have delicate sensibilities, you're probably in the wrong place, hanging out with the wrong crowd. I swear, and while I probably overdo it a lot of the time (and occasionally in inappropriate places and/or at inappropriate times), I think they're just expressive words, however vulgar some people deem them to be.
    There are a lot of words I don't like but I don't get upset when people say them (e.g. Michelle Bachman, tuna salad, bacon-wrapped anything, anything related to bowel movements, etc.). These are all things some people talk about that I really don't care for, but I'm not going to throw a fit and demand people omit stuff they think is important just because I would rather talk about something else. I'll just see if I can change the subject to something less disgusting, or if all else fails, I'll go talk to someone else.
    We're human beings. We're not perfect. I certainly am not. And when in Rome, I will probably do as the Romans do, unless it involves dangerous or illegal acts or substances. So, around a bunch of testosterone-laden dudes all day, I will swear, and the normal social etiquette that I exert in social situations among other types of people--people like my mom, my boss, or my niece--will stay in the background, and the dirty-mouthed 15-year-old kid I still am on occasion resurfaces. Unfortunately, Orbit gum does not literally remove profane vocabulary from your mouth. Only some bacteria. Unlike the commercials. I've tried it.
    So, I'm not really sure how to evaluate what happened. Profanity in the workplace is unprofessional, but, due to the profanity-involving work-related topic that was being discussed, it seems that maybe there's no need to apologize. On the other hand, maybe this is what you get for putting a 15-year-old in the body of a 23-year-old in a slightly higher responsibility level job. Maturity and professionalism are not something I can really put on for 9 hours a day. Eventually, my silly, uncensored, inappropriate sense of humor and mindset pops back out and makes an ass out of me. Opinions welcome. But no, I will not share any further details about this incident.

I don't think saying 'bullshit' is any less expressive 

than saying something phony like 'Charmed, I'm sure'.