Humanity: It's Still Out There Somewhere

  I was working on some web updates and blog posts on Monday afternoon when I got a strange tweet on my text alerts. This was the first I heard of it, and I'm sure if my other text alert Twitterer, @ElizaDushku, a Mass. native, had been in the country, she would have been the first.

I am saddened and sickened by what fucking maniacs exist in this world.Boston, we are with you. #bostonmarathon
— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) April 15, 2013

    I didn't know what had happened, but the second I headed over to Twitter, and the second I opened up my Yahoo homepage, it was clear something terrible had happened. I was overwhelmed with sadness and fear--I have a friend living and working in Boston--and I didn't know what to say. I couldn't put anything into words even to say something supportive or nice or heartfelt. All I could do was retweet.

    However, as I followed the news throughout the day, I was overwhelmed once again not by horror, but by compassion and awe. So many people in Boston, in New York, and from around the world were pouring out their kindness and solidarity for those injured and affected by the bombings.
    These people, and as I understand, they've tracked down one of the men responsible for the tragedy, always seem to think that they're going to hurt us, destroy us, and bring us to our knees by doing something terrible. They never realize, or remember, that we will get back up again, we will come together, and we will stay strong, no matter how much they do to try to tear us apart. We don't give up. We stand.
    Sometimes, and it's unfortunate that it happens this way, it takes a tragedy to remind us all that we are one nation, one people, and one humankind. We may disagree about religion, politics, and sports teams, but we are all affected by loss, and we are all filled with compassion for others who experience loss. That is universal.
    We all have the capacity to love, and to offer that love and support and compassion for others, especially when we see they need it most. I have my complaints about the people and the laws and the ideologies in this country, but if there's one thing I know to be true, it's that we are never short of love and compassion in the face of tragedy, and that makes living in this country worthwhile.
    So, instead of revenge, instead of more violence, I want to focus on the compassion and on the solidarity and support for all those affected by Monday's events. It's those things that will make us strong, not brute force or military power.

Make love, not war. Even when war seems warranted.

Say Hello To My Little Friend

  If anybody needs to talk gun control, Tony Montana is one of them. But, in light of recent events, I figured I'd throw my hand in as well. I'm referring specifically to the movie theater shooting  that occurred in Aurora, Colorado at the midnight premiere of the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises. While I didn't know any of the victims or their families, this hit me a little too close for three reasons: 1) Aurora's not too far away from where I live; 2) I am a major Batman fan; 3) I love the movies and the movie theater.
    I think what bothered me most about the incident was that it took place in a movie theater. The movie theater to me is like my home away from home. I have seen so many beautiful movies and met so many amazing characters in the movie theater. I've laughed, I've cried, I've been on the edge of my seat. I saw LOTR Two Towers seven times on the big screen. It's my safe haven when I'm having a crappy week or when I'm stressed out; the one place I think to go that will make me feel better is to the movies. All that changed when some guy decided to murder a bunch of people inside a theater.
    As to the guy, I don't think he's crazy the way some people think he is. I don't think he wasn't crazy like he had voices in his head or he was abused as a kid. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and he obviously planned it out pretty thoroughly. In short, I have serious doubts about his insanity plea. It seems to me that he's overacting trying to get people to believe it. However, having said that, there is the possibility that he was "manic" in the sense of being obsessive. Maybe he was so obsessed with the previous movie that he wanted to act it out. That's an explanation, but in my book, it doesn't make him crazy enough to use an insanity defense. Mental illness doesn't always make someone incompetent or ignorant of what they're doing. In this case, I don't think that he ought to be able to use mental illness as a defense even if mental illness is the explanation for his actions.
    The big issues that came out of this event were gun control and movie censorship. Even after something like this, I don't believe censorship is the answer. It's not Hollywood's responsibility to limit their storytelling because of a few idiots or crazy people that take their stories a little too seriously. It's the individual's responsibility. I may not take Independence Day as proof of extraterrestrial life, but that doesn't mean I should ignore that guy over there who does take it as proof. To offer a comparison, we don't ban the Bible when someone says God told him to kill somebody. (Think about it before you think about berating me in the comments for that one.)
    We as a society have become so out of touch with each other that we allow--yes, allow--this type of thing to happen. We all go around thinking: sure, I have a creepy neighbor or a creepy classmate but it's not MY problem. It's somebody else's problem. It's their problem. You know what I have to say to that: wise up. There are just too damn many of us for us to ignore someone who we think might be dangerous or have a problem because we think that, if we ignore them, they'll just go away. I'm not talking about a witch hunt--that would be entirely counterproductive and probably cause more situations like this than there already are. I'm saying that we have to take it upon ourselves to be responsible citizens--responsible for our fellow humanity, no matter how weird, creepy or dangerous we think they are, and try to get them the help they need. Whether it's just saying hello to someone who feels invisible or whether it's telling the landlord that the person in 6B just walked in with a bunch of rope and gasoline, we have to stop thinking that all of the bad things in the world are somebody else's problem. They're not. They're everybody's problem.
    I didn't want to get into the gun control thing too much because I don't have a whole lot of background on the issue to take sides. Yes, guns are dangerous. On the other hand, people who know how to use them in times of crisis can save lives. However, it seems ridiculous to me that someone can buy all the stuff to stage a miniature Armageddon on the internet. People hide behind their computer screens, once again, thinking it's not their problem if they sell the bullet that killed a kid at a movie somewhere six states over. Tell you what, ammunition wholesale guy: it is your effing problem. Maybe 99.99% of the people you sell to use their weapons for recreational use and all their ammunition ends up in a bunch of beer cans in a field somewhere. But that other, albeit, minor percentage of people you sell to who do use their weapons and their ammunition for violence are your problem too. Even if only in a karmic sense.
    I don't have all the answers. I don't know if the government should impose stricter laws on gun sales or background checks or whatever. I don't know if it would make a difference. What I believe is that when it comes to a gray area like guns and gun control, it comes to each individual as to what the right thing to do is. Sell to the suspicious guy in the trench coat or don't. Tell a teacher or a cop or a doctor or whoever about a person's overzealous ambition to be just like Don Corleone, or keep it to yourself (sidenote: no disrespect whatsoever meant to Brando or Coppola, but the don was a bad dude).
    When something like this happens, we have to stop trying to place blame. Oh, it was his parents' fault or it was the movie's fault, or it was the law's fault that it happened. It could be a result of one, all three, or none of them, but even if all those things went along right as they were supposed to, it's still up to each of us to take the initiative and protect our fellow human beings, whether they are the would-be victims or the would-be perpetrators in such a violent scene. I'm not trying to blame anyone for why this happened, or why I now feel like a rat in a cage when I sit down in a movie theater. I'm not saying anyone could have or should have done anything different. But in the future, we can keep in mind the possibility that if we make it our problem, if we offer up a little more care and compassion towards friends and weirdos alike, we can change how things turn out--hopefully for the better.

TDKR was good--you should see it if you haven't done so yet.

Nostalgia Strikes Again

  Nostalgia, from the Greek, means a sense of pain, sadness or yearning to return to times gone by. It's not just homesickness or recalling fond memories, though it is often used in that sense. And although not everyone uses it in this way, I tend to use it to embody an entire era, one in which I had not even been born, rather than just memories contained within my own life.
    Sometimes I say I'm old-fashioned or conventional (more in my taste than in my actual ideas and opinions--in that case, vintage might be a more appropriate word), but mostly, or perhaps more accurately, I am nostalgic. I watch old movies and old television shows, and new movies and television shows that take place in that particular period of time, and I wonder why we thought it was necessary to evolve certain aspects of that culture into what we have today. Because today's culture is lacking some parts, parts that should have persisted, from that era. This has nothing to do with the technology overload or anything like that--I'm talking about our communication, interaction and the overall way in which we present ourselves on a day to day basis.
    I'll admit, I may be whistling dixie, and you can chalk a lot of this up to me having seen way too many episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show and Mad Men, but there's something I really love about the fact that everything seemed so much more orderly and comme il faut about American life fifty or sixty years ago. These examples may have you scratching your head, wondering how I could call Dick Van Dyke in any way orderly and organized, or any of the characters' personal lives in Mad Men normal and as they should be, but there are things that exist in those shows that no longer exist.
    Today, everything is about comfort. We wear jeans to work (or we do where I work), nobody carries a proper hat or an overcoat, we all have sweatshirts and stocking hats when the weather calls for them, and we yell down the hall rather than politely phone someone in their office (though in my situation, not all of our phones are hooked up, so that one wouldn't be possible anyway).
    But it's not just what they wore. They had a certain way of acting--a politesse, at least outwardly, that has all but disappeared from the modern world. Some people might call it disingenuous, or phony, but it was correct--tactful, polite, and appropriate. It was being respectful and treating other people like they were people--not good or bad people, or well-liked people or disliked people, just human beings. There are things you can say in certain company, and there are things you absolutely don't say in certain company.  People held umbrellas for strangers and walked them to their cars. They held doors and elevators and didn't panic at the idea of saying "hello, how are you," to someone they happened to be stuck riding 10 floors up with.
    Back then, you kept your thoughts or opinions to yourself when it wasn't your place to speak up, and you addressed certain people with respect whether you liked them or not. While some of this propriety has managed to survive, at least in certain circles or for certain people, a lot of it has disintegrated. Lots of people now say whatever they want whenever, wherever, and to whomever they happen to be in the vicinity of.
    While this may seem more real and honest--qualities which have become more valuable over the years as politeness and respect have become less valuable for whatever reason--I still feel like there is a line somewhere that's being crossed. It's just that so many years have passed, and so many people have stepped on that line, that we can't quite see where it is anymore.
    Call me sentimental, but i think it'd be nice if everyone still wore suits and high heels and pencil skirts. The world would seem to me more civilized, less cutthroat and ugly, as the news inevitably portrays it. On the other hand, then I'd have to learn how to do my hair so it looked perfect all day. Maybe sweatpants, cursing like a sailor, and instant messaging are not so bad after all.

We're going back--back to the future, man!

Are there some customs or mannerisms you'd like to see make a comeback, 

or do I just need to get over the fact that I was born in the wrong part of the century?

Share in the comments.

PS: NaNoWriMo starts in eight days. Have you picked your topic yet?

The Worst Kinds of People

  I read an article today about the worst kinds of coworkers to have, the loud mouth, the bad influence, the rival, the downer, etc., and it got me thinking about people I know who are like this. Not necessarily coworkers, as I have pretty awesome coworkers, but just people I've known or that I know now who are people I probably shouldn't know.
    As far as someone who talks too much, I'm probably guilty of that one. I don't blab other people's secrets. Not secrets. I do have a tendency to overshare my own thoughts, and sometimes, when it's really good news or really juicy gossip, I have a really hard time not sharing it. Sometimes it's just with my boyfriend, and he doesn't really count because he doesn't talk about anything I tell him to other people, but sometimes it's sharing with my coworkers, and I probably shouldn't share all the stuff I do with them. There are some things that, because we work together, probably should be kept to myself.
    Bad influences, I know a few of those people. The ones that tell you to skip class to go to the brewery, the ones that talk you into coming to that party you didn't want to go to because it was going to be nothing but a bunch of people you don't know drinking stuff you don't want to drink, the ones that convince you to hang out or go do things that you don't have the money to do just because it sounds like so much fun. I think we all have this bone in our bodies--we all do a little peer pressuring from time to time, whether it's something little or something big. The difference is that we aren't the pusher all the time. Some people are always going to dare you to do the thing you know you shouldn't be doing because they have a little danger streak that they want to share.
    Overly competitive people--I was in IB in high school. I didn't finish, but I knew my fair share of overly competitive people. The ones that will always ask what you got on your test and caw happily when they find out they got one point better. (I did enjoy doing better than other people, I just didn't say it out loud that I got the better grade or that I was proud of myself for having gotten it.) The people who will always turn in the paper a week early and stick their hand up first to get their answer in. The only person I think I've ever really competed with is myself. I'll admit, I am a little competitive at work. I want to get my good idea in first, and I want my creativity to shine over everyone else's when I get the chance to. But I'm not the most creative person there, and I don't have the experience with certain aspects of the job that other people do, which limits me in some respects, and it means that that chance to shine doesn't come around as often as it used to when I was in school, getting grades.
    The downer is that person that can always find something negative to say about whatever happens or whatever else is said. I have DEFINITELY known people like this. It's really unfortunate because they're usually decent people, they just have an overly pessimistic outlook on life and people and the world. I have days where everything sucks--I think you'd have to be an automaton if you didn't have days like that at least sometimes, however infrequent. But some people are just distrustful, angry, regretful, and unhappy people that live by the adage misery loves company. These are probably the worst ones on this list because they bring everyone else down too, whether they mean to or not.
    I guess the point here is that while we all may be a little bit like these personalities from time to time, the point is not to be any one of them ALL the time. And maybe to be more like a few other personalities some of the time too--the encourager, the shoulder to lean on, the back-up, the giver--to balance everything out. (Sidenote: Using the new Blogger Interface right now. It's clean, and I like the posting part, LOVE the posting part, but the dashboard is weird. Too clean, too few buttons. Hard to find what you want.)

Be ambitious but not a shark. 

Be realistic not pessimistic. 

Be honest but not tactless. 

What kind of person do YOU think is the worst? 

Or... are you secretly one of them?

Share in the comments. 

Sappy Love Stories

  I watched an old movie last night. So old it was in black and white (gasp!). Some Like It Hot with Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, and Jack Lemmon. I loved it. (Confession time: First time I've seen this one. Go ahead, gasp again.) Marilyn Monroe is more beautiful than ever, endearing, adorable, and of course, blond. Her character is similar to the one she played in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. And the storyline is not an original one--girl falls for the guy who's exactly the type of guy she's trying to stay away from. The only twist is that the guy--Tony Curtis, along with his friend in the film, Jack Lemmon--is a male musician dressed as a woman to escape the mob. Of course, Marilyn doesn't know this through the majority of the movie. But even though he tells her he's everything she's hates, she's already fallen for him.
    I enjoy comedies, and sometimes the old comedies are even better. They've got a wit that most new movies can't match. It's like getting back to real people and remembering what real humor is all about. But this movie isn't just a comedy. It's a romance. Marilyn Monroe, even as a tipsy gold-digger type character, can't help but be funny, sweet, and sexy so that you love her even though her morality may be lacking. And even though Tony Curtis is not a very Nice Guy, love conquers all, as it always does in the movies. Especially the old movies.
    I think one of the best parts in the movies is the scene where Marilyn sings "I want to be loved by you". She's got on this dress, this unbelievably see-through, low-cut, wouldn't-think-you-could-get-away-with-it-in-1959 dress, and she's got her whispery, sultry voice singing the words to this (hopelessly) romantic tune.      Watching old movies always turns me into a sap. But I think there's a reason we still love them even if they seem just as wildly unrealistic as a sci-fi movie or an action movie where everything blows up for no apparent reason--people like to be saps every now and again. It makes the world seem like not such an awful place anymore. And after a long day, or a long week, a cold beer just won't cut it. We need hope to restore our faith in humanity, in people, and in the ability of the human heart to love, despite all the crazy circumstances.

Goodnight, honey.

Movie Magic

  Who remembers their first time at the movies? I was very small. So small, in fact, that the theater seemed like it would fit a thousand people. I don't remember exactly which movie I saw the first time at the movie theater, but I do recall one of the first movies I saw at the theater: 101 Dalmatians, the original animated version. Despite my extreme shyness as a child, I was so overwhelmed by the awesome spotted dogs that were outwitting the maniacal Cruella De Vil, that I cried out: "Puppy Power!!" in the middle of the movie, holding up my little stuffed dalmatian that I insisted on carrying with me everywhere at that time.
    My dad only had to tell me once that you're not supposed to yell out in a movie theater, but I'm sure everyone else thought it was pretty funny rather than annoying, so I guess that particular mistake in etiquette was not so bad.
    Throughout the years, I have developed a profound connection and adoration for film. And yes, my admiration extends beyond Disney movies now. I have seen some of the original moving pictures, the ones that are all disjointed and only have music, no dialogue. I've seen the first talkie. I've seen movies in black and white, color, and some movies that tried to combine the two. I've probably seen less than a dozen truly bad movies, because generally, I think most movies have merit in some way, for some people. No movie is for everybody. As much as I'd like to tell everyone in the world they haven't lived until they've seen Casablanca, romance, wartime stories, and even black and white isn't everyone's cup of tea. That's their too bad--because Casablanca is amazing. There are movies that I watch and enjoy the story, but sometimes, I have to marvel at the filmmaking itself. The process. And the magic that movies create as only they can.
    No matter how technologically advanced we become, there is still a thrill in going to the movie theater, sitting down in the squeaky seats, and watching a story play out on a gigantic screen for two hours. You can take my MP3 player, my video games, and my computer, but don't take my DVDs and a TV to watch them on. Even now, after I've been going to movies for about twenty years now, there's still this wonderment and excitement that happens when I go to the movies. I've seen most if not all of the previews already, but when the lights dim and the movie starts, I can shut up, ignore my phone, and lose myself in the film.
    I'm not biased, and I'm not really a movie snob the way some people get to be. I like everything from chick flicks to action movies. I love Die Hard and Jerry Maguire. I am just as big a Star Wars nerd as I am a Wes Anderson fan. And even actors I once disliked usually grow on me after I've seen more of their work. (Ahem, Kevin Bacon, Kim Basinger, and Michael Douglas, to name a few.)
    I can't even say I discriminate the award-worthy movies from the movies that are just there to make you laugh and make money. They all have their value. The former are the last remaining effort to keep filmmaking an art form, and the latter may be fodder for the masses, but they're entertaining, and that's part of what movies should be. Movies don't all have to be educational, or documentaries. They don't all have to be creative works.

"Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, don't you know everyone loves to laugh?"

That's perfectly fine with me.

    I love the movies so much that I will go by myself if no one else is willing to chuck out the $8.75 to $10.50 (or more) it costs nowadays. I don't mind, because I will admit, I'm a pain in the ass to see a movie with because I'm talking (whispering) the entire time, commenting on this thing that reminds me of that movie or that actor who I saw in this other movie.
    Despite the extreme inflation of the cost of going to a movie, a single person can spend $15 to $20 bucks easily on snacks, drinks, and a single admission, people still go. Every weekend. The parking lot is packed and the auditorium showing the new release is always full. Because people love the movies. Maybe not for the same reasons as I do, but they do. Movies make us think and feel things that we didn't always realize we were thinking or feeling. They aren't always true to life, science fiction tries specifically not to be, but it's not the spaceships or magic spells or happily ever after in the movies that gets us to go: it's the people. They may be better looking, but there's something real about the people in the movies, and that's what keeps us going. If we couldn't relate to them, they would cease to hold our attention.
    It's Saturday night, so go catch a movie if it isn't too late, or stay in and watch one with a bowl of microwave popcorn and a cup of soda. They make us laugh, cry, scream, and gasp, and the best movie is one that does it all.

We'll always have Paris.

A Closer Look at Memorial Day

  Memorial Day has never meant that much to me. I don't know any really patriotic people. And I don't know anyone who makes a big deal about being a veteran or anything like that. For me, for the aforementioned reasons, Memorial Day has pretty much just been another day off from school and/or work. But it does mean a lot to a lot of people. According to Wikipedia, it began after the Civil War to honor the Union soldiers who had died during the war, and eventually came to be a day to remember all those who served in the armed forces and died in the wars that our country has seen over the years.
    But patriotism has its place, and so today, I think I'll pontificate a bit about why this shouldn't just be another day.
    Part of remembering the past is to help change things and make them better for the future. So, in that respect, remembering everyone that died during the wars of the past century, two World Wars, Vietnam, Korea, and still going--Afghanistan and Iraq--(plus any others that my limited 20th century US history education has not made me aware of) is not only about remembering those who sacrificed their lives for their country, but trying to make it so that that sacrifice is not necessary in the future.
    Let's all laugh at the pacifist who wants world peace and an end to all wars. Done yet? Ok, I'll go on.
    Wars are ugly and expensive and they kill people, people you may know. And yes, it would be nice if we could solve things with diplomacy and words instead of machine guns and bombs. But as much as humanity wants to keep things civil, and remain entitled to call itself humanity, we continue to take the easy way out. Yes, war is the easy way out. Talking is hard. It takes time. And we may have to come back and say what we want to say or change what we want to say several times, or dozens of times, before we get it right. (Wars have a nasty habit of enduring and taking a lot longer than intended, too, but for some reason, people continue to overlook that detail when comparing it to diplomacy...)
    People think talking doesn't work because many times, people lie or go back on their word. And many other times, people don't even want to listen to each other. Not wanting to listen makes diplomacy pretty difficult. But taking a long time trying to talk and be heard is a better alternative, a more human alternative, to giving up and just sending a bunch of people over to an unfamiliar place and telling them to shoot people.
    So, Memorial Day ought to be not only a day of remembrance, but a day of hope. Hope that mankind can learn to man up and solve its problems without that kind of violence that makes days like Memorial Day necessary.

Peace, love, and bean sprouts.