Humanity: It's Still Out There Somewhere

  I was working on some web updates and blog posts on Monday afternoon when I got a strange tweet on my text alerts. This was the first I heard of it, and I'm sure if my other text alert Twitterer, @ElizaDushku, a Mass. native, had been in the country, she would have been the first.

I am saddened and sickened by what fucking maniacs exist in this world.Boston, we are with you. #bostonmarathon
— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) April 15, 2013

    I didn't know what had happened, but the second I headed over to Twitter, and the second I opened up my Yahoo homepage, it was clear something terrible had happened. I was overwhelmed with sadness and fear--I have a friend living and working in Boston--and I didn't know what to say. I couldn't put anything into words even to say something supportive or nice or heartfelt. All I could do was retweet.

    However, as I followed the news throughout the day, I was overwhelmed once again not by horror, but by compassion and awe. So many people in Boston, in New York, and from around the world were pouring out their kindness and solidarity for those injured and affected by the bombings.
    These people, and as I understand, they've tracked down one of the men responsible for the tragedy, always seem to think that they're going to hurt us, destroy us, and bring us to our knees by doing something terrible. They never realize, or remember, that we will get back up again, we will come together, and we will stay strong, no matter how much they do to try to tear us apart. We don't give up. We stand.
    Sometimes, and it's unfortunate that it happens this way, it takes a tragedy to remind us all that we are one nation, one people, and one humankind. We may disagree about religion, politics, and sports teams, but we are all affected by loss, and we are all filled with compassion for others who experience loss. That is universal.
    We all have the capacity to love, and to offer that love and support and compassion for others, especially when we see they need it most. I have my complaints about the people and the laws and the ideologies in this country, but if there's one thing I know to be true, it's that we are never short of love and compassion in the face of tragedy, and that makes living in this country worthwhile.
    So, instead of revenge, instead of more violence, I want to focus on the compassion and on the solidarity and support for all those affected by Monday's events. It's those things that will make us strong, not brute force or military power.

Make love, not war. Even when war seems warranted.

The Holiday Spirit Appears Early

  I used to insist on waiting until Thanksgiving was over before I even started thinking about Christmas. I even skipped Christmas one year (i.e. did not buy presents or ask for any or put up a tree or anything--though not everyone listened when I said I didn't want anything) to protest the level of commercialism it had attained.
    However, sometimes after you go without something for long enough, the next time it comes around makes you appreciate it even more. (One case in point, the NHL lockout a few years ago made me realize how much I enjoyed watching hockey, even though I had not watched too much of it in the previous couple of seasons.) Case in point two: I really missed Christmas after I skipped it that year.
    I enjoy shopping for Christmas presents and making cookies and putting up the tree and singing Christmas music. Even the people who are hard to shop for, I don't mind as much because I enjoy the season. The lights and the colors and especially the movies. I know there aren't too many people who get to have a happy ending Hollywood version of Christmas anymore, and it has become overly commercialized over the past few decades, but it's still a lovely thought. Thinking about children believing in Santa, families coming together, forgetting all your misanthropy and cynicism and giving in to the holiday spirit, and spreading good cheer and good will towards men (PC term=humanity).
    I already started searching for Christmas presents, as I plan to do a lot of my shopping online this year. I'm hoping that 1) this will save me a little bit of money, 2) I can find things for the hard-to-shop-for people a little easier, 3) this will help me get most of my shopping done earlier rather than last minute, and 4) this will allow me to find a few things that you just can't find at a Target or a JC Penney's.
    I blame this recent surfacing of Christmas spirit on the huge snowstorm we had in my neck of the woods this week. I woke up on Thursday and said, wow, it looks just like Christmas! While most of it's melted already, as the temperatures shot back up into the fifties again, it doesn't change the fact that I'm already dreaming of a white Christmas (despite that we maybe get one every ten years here because it refuses to snow ON Christmas--it always snows too early or too late and it's all melted by the Christmas day arrives).

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

What are your thoughts on this (somewhat) impending holiday? 

Love it? Hate it? (FYI: If you say you hate it, you will henceforth be known as the Grinch.) 

What's your favorite, or least favorite, part about it?
Share in the comments.

I'm Modern, But I'm Not THAT Modern

  We 90s kids (meaning children who grew up in the nineties, not kids who were born in the nineties) have some interesting perspectives on relationships.
    Some informal statistics: 3 out 4 guys between the ages of 20 and 30 never, or probably never, want to have kids. 2 out of 4 guys in the same age group never want to get married. However, 4 out of 4 guys want to be in a monogamous relationship if they were in a relationship (note: this is more due to fear of STDs than desire to commit). No, I didn't completely make these stats up, but I did take them from a VERY small sample of people in my age group. Things have sure changed over the years. Even 30 years ago, 3 out of 4 guys probably wanted kids; wanted to get married, someday, at least, if not right that second; and I don't know about the monogamy thing, but the concern for STDs was not nearly as high then as it is now. Plus, now we have to worry about AIDS.
    Girls, however, seem as traditional as ever. Girls in this age bracket still plan on getting married, many, it seems, because they watch too much reality TV and want the big, expensive, overblown wedding that's going to put papa in the poorhouse. Girls still want children, though not in as high of numbers as they did previously. Girls, for the most part, want monogamy, partly for fear of STDs, but more for desire for commitment.
    I won't tell how I fall into these statistics, because I have a feeling I'm the exception rather than the rule here, but it amazes me how girls remain so traditional when the men in our age group seem to rush toward a modernity that clashes seriously with those traditional values.
    It doesn't surprise me at all that the divorce rate is so high, because men and women seem to be on two different wavelengths when it comes to relationships and how to be in one. We are a spoiled group (though I have no doubt that the youngsters who are in the age group immediately after ours are even more spoiled), and we seem to forget that relationships are, in the end and inevitably so, about compromise. Guys seem to want to rebel against the Oprah-indoctrinated women who want to change them, and therefore, refuse to change at all. Women, on the other hand, seem to want to do everything they can to create the fairy tale romance, the perfect man, the ideal soulmate (never mind that they picked him up at a Burger King) that they've so often seen and swooned after in movies and television programs.
    I may be very accommodating in a relationship--too forgiving, perhaps, in some cases--but there are some things I just won't do, no matter how cool and easy-going I wish to appear. I will not participate in "an open relationship" (for anyone not up to speed with that term: a relationship in which both partners are permitted to see other people but remain connected--though not necessarily committed--to each other in a romantic way). Open relationships seem to defeat the purpose. If you're going to date or screw other people, do it, but don't pretend you still want the person you're in an open relationship with after you do it. You're kidding yourself and each other. Take separate bedrooms. Have your own boys' nights and girls' nights, but don't sit there and pretend like dating other people makes your relationship stronger.
    I hope I haven't offended anyone, but if so, feel free to tell me off in the comments. I will moderate generously.

Meatloaf anyone? (Hint: I'm thinking of a song lyric, 

and no, I don't expect your thought path to be the same as mine.)

Sappy Love Stories

  I watched an old movie last night. So old it was in black and white (gasp!). Some Like It Hot with Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, and Jack Lemmon. I loved it. (Confession time: First time I've seen this one. Go ahead, gasp again.) Marilyn Monroe is more beautiful than ever, endearing, adorable, and of course, blond. Her character is similar to the one she played in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. And the storyline is not an original one--girl falls for the guy who's exactly the type of guy she's trying to stay away from. The only twist is that the guy--Tony Curtis, along with his friend in the film, Jack Lemmon--is a male musician dressed as a woman to escape the mob. Of course, Marilyn doesn't know this through the majority of the movie. But even though he tells her he's everything she's hates, she's already fallen for him.
    I enjoy comedies, and sometimes the old comedies are even better. They've got a wit that most new movies can't match. It's like getting back to real people and remembering what real humor is all about. But this movie isn't just a comedy. It's a romance. Marilyn Monroe, even as a tipsy gold-digger type character, can't help but be funny, sweet, and sexy so that you love her even though her morality may be lacking. And even though Tony Curtis is not a very Nice Guy, love conquers all, as it always does in the movies. Especially the old movies.
    I think one of the best parts in the movies is the scene where Marilyn sings "I want to be loved by you". She's got on this dress, this unbelievably see-through, low-cut, wouldn't-think-you-could-get-away-with-it-in-1959 dress, and she's got her whispery, sultry voice singing the words to this (hopelessly) romantic tune.      Watching old movies always turns me into a sap. But I think there's a reason we still love them even if they seem just as wildly unrealistic as a sci-fi movie or an action movie where everything blows up for no apparent reason--people like to be saps every now and again. It makes the world seem like not such an awful place anymore. And after a long day, or a long week, a cold beer just won't cut it. We need hope to restore our faith in humanity, in people, and in the ability of the human heart to love, despite all the crazy circumstances.

Goodnight, honey.

Love Your Neighbor Day

I may have made that one up. Or maybe it really exists and is just on a different day. But it seems like the right message to send out at this juncture, so, love your neighbor today.
    Due to time constraints and feeling too tired to write much, I'm going to be a bit lazy this time, not writing a full post, but don't let that take away from the message here, dear readers. (I at least took the time to track down some good media for this post, if that can be permitted to assuage some my guilt at said laziness.)
   Stop being angry. Stop being vengeful. Stop being cynical. Stop being critical. Stop being resentful. Stop doing everything that hurts someone, especially if that someone is you. If everyone put a little more love out there, maybe the world wouldn't need saving all the time.
    We can't prevent these emotions all day, every day, but for a few minutes, let it all go. Need some inspiration?
    Just push play.

Dionne Warwick-What the World Needs Now

The Beatles-All You Need is Love

Love is all you need.