Wishin and Hopin and Thinkin and...

  I don't pray, so I'll leave that one off there. I have been making some good progress over the past few weeks, and it's been keeping me plenty busy--I didn't even realize I hadn't posted here in three weeks until I published my comments about the Boston Marathon attacks.
    Both of my book giveaways have concluded, though Amazon and UPS are really trying my patience on the delivery front. (I'm STILL waiting on my order from two weeks ago--never had to wait this long.) I'm looking forward to the reviews and the feedback, but I really hope they're positive. Building an author platform is hard work, but it's even harder without getting feedback from the people who are actually reading the books and interested in them. My beta readers can only tell me so much.
    I'm into the full-marketing mode now, and I've already had a few stops booked for my blog tour next month! I'm really excited for it, and I really hope it goes well. It seems like most of the stops so far are decent websites that are well-maintained in terms of content and they seem to have a decent number of visitors and readership. I'm hoping that means word will get out and people will start looking into the book and my writing more, even if they don't immediately buy the book. (I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic without counting my chickens--how am I doing?)
    I also relaunched the other website that I've been doing the social media for. It looks beautiful! The hard part for me will be posting regularly, as usual, and getting the advertising publisher stuff worked out. I've been having problems with Cafe Press--those a-holes will not email me back and their ad publisher set-up is a little pathetic in terms of compatibility and technical issues.
    The weather out here has been a little ridiculous. I got a blizzard warning last week and was expecting to be able to call in to work, and then there was hardly any snow. The roads weren't even that bad. (Not even close to the last blizzard I drove home in.) Then this week, not calling for a blizzard, not even a winter storm warning until a couple hours before it hit, and there was probably at least a foot of snow total between Monday and Wednesday.  Tuesday's drive wasn't too treacherous, but the cold and wind Tuesday and Wednesday were a pain to deal with. And they're calling for more rain/snow (could be another big storm, or nothing at all, who knows?) on Monday.
    What the hell happened to spring? I know it's Colorado, but seriously, we don't get snow on the plains this late in the month that often, and we definitely don't get it in these quantities that often at this time of the year. Blarg. I keep waiting to wear my flip-flops and then I look outside and wish I knew where my damn snow boots were. Ridiculous.
    With regard to the blog post title, I'm wishin for some good reviews, hopin my stupid book order gets here soon (like today, when it's scheduled, would be nice), thinkin about Boston and sending out good thoughts.

    Here's to a better spring/summer ahead!

The Key to Coping: Keeping Busy

  I'm sure whoever is still stopping by and reading this is sick of hearing about this, but it's cathartic for me, and since it's my blog, you're SOL.
    I've actually been doing all right overall. I think I had about two or three days in which I lost it a little bit, thinking about being alone and being dumped, but it didn't last all day on any of those days.
    My main anesthetic? Avoidance. Not denial, but avoidance. I have blocked his posts on Facebook. I have removed his contact and photos from my cell phone. I have disconnected myself from his projects for the most part, except for one. The exercise DVD program we had set up on a website is still mine to work with. Why? Because I was doing most of the work on it to begin with, so I figured instead of just throwing away all that hard work I've done over the past several months, I'm going to take over the website and completely reimagine it.
    I'm going to transform it into a broader health related blog, as I think one of its issues before was that it was too narrow a topic and there was not enough good information (i.e. new blog posts) to get people interested in the product. I'm a little concerned I may have bitten off more than I can chew--it's a pretty drastic change, and it will mean I'll have to be posting regular content (in addition to the other 4 blogs I write), but I think it'll be good. It's a new angle, it's going to be more women's health oriented, and it's going to be useful. Instead of just sharing what other people write articles about on Twitter, I'll have my own new articles to share.
    Since I'm not a doctor or a personal trainer or a dietician, I'm going to have to include some disclaimers and make sure that I use credible sources (i.e. not Web MD) for the posts I create, but I think it'll be good. And the best part about it is that I won't have to look at pictures of my ex all over the home page anymore. The DVD will still be included on the website because I don't feel right about removing it completely, but anything related to it, questions and any potential (albeit unlikely) sales that come through will go directly to his email. Only questions/comments relating to the new articles and content on the website will be my responsibility. I don't know whether it will pan out or not, but I'm hopeful.
     Beyond taking on this new project, I've been editing my new book. It's taken up a lot of my time, and there's still so much to do before I release it, so I've been trying to keep up with it all. I'm actually considering paying for some marketing solutions this time around. Partly because I am working now and I have a little bit of extra money to spend (not really, but I have more now than I did when I released the last book when I wasn't working), but also partly because I really want to have this book do well and if it's just up to me to do the marketing, hiring a little temporary contract help for a blog tour may not be such a terrible idea.
    The book itself is coming along well, though. I still have a few more rounds of revisions to get through, but this round has been a lot less painful because it's mostly mechanics and minor tweaks rather than rewrites and major cuts. However, figuring out these mechanics is no easy task. I'm relying on a gigantic textbook of the Chicago Manual of Style and it's not always straightforward where to find the correct usages. Despite how thick it is, I think it could use a better index.
    In any case, keeping so busy has also been helpful in terms of keeping my mind off things. I think in terms of grief over the loss of the relationship, I'm at the anger phase. Not wanting to see, speak, or even think about anything to do with him. Since we don't really have the same friends or even live in the same city, running into each other isn't much of a concern.
    As to the other phases, denial seemed to come and go pretty quickly. I'm not quite sure how the bargaining stage is supposed to play out since I have absolutely no intention of putting myself back into that situation, but I guess I'll find out in the days, weeks, or (I hope not) months to come. Mostly, I'm still trying to keep my head up, focus on what comes next, and hope that whatever happens will be better and I'll be better for it.

Idle hands and what-not.

The Great Morale Booster of 2013

  While I've made some great progress so far in 2013--I've already lost 4 pounds on my new diet (sidenote: counting calories sucks when you like Coke and Chipotle so much), I've added over 8,000 words to my edit-in-progress, putting it over 50,000 now [cue excited shriek], and I'm even getting back into a better exercise routine.
    Yet, 2013 has already been a little tumultuous. My car may now have transmission issues. The check engine light came back on with the same error code as before. My release date for my edit-in-progress may need to be pushed back a few weeks. And I'm still not any closer to moving out.
    However, perspective is the theme here. Whenever I feel like nothing seems to be going right, I turn to Ally McBeal. Yes, the television show. Why? Because nothing in my life ever seems as awful as she seems to think things in her life are.
    Ally McBeal always makes me feel like my life is in way better shape and the winning combination is just about to make itself known. Although season 1 and 2 did a better job of this--I'm now on season 3--her neuroses and hallucinations and self-sabotage make me feel like things around here are on the verge of turning around. It may seem silly, but if it weren't for Ally McBeal, my outlook on life would be a lot more pessimistic than it already is.
    Over time, the show has actually become funnier, too, which helps. And, Ally became more of a sympathetic protagonist. I actually hated her character when I first started watching this show, but I kept watching it because it was cathartic. Over time, especially with the addition of Lucy Liu's character, the show has become funnier, more complex, and more entertaining overall.
    If you can get through the obnoxious theme music (the show's theme, not Ally's personal theme music), you're golden. I muted the Carole King theme song from Gilmore Girls almost every episode I saw over the years because it was so annoying to me. The Ally McBeal theme has grown on me a bit (sidenote/funny coincidence: Vonda Shepherd, the theme's singer and show regular just sang the Gilmore Girls theme song in an episode I watched earlier), but it's a little too loud and not quite pop enough to be catchy and enjoyable. Unlike the theme from Friends ("I'll Be There for You") or Scrubs ("I'm No Superman").
    Back to this show's ability to help boost my morale: Money problems, job dissatisfaction, disappointment with the progress (or lack thereof) on my personal projects that I work so hard on and which mean so much to me--all of these things seem to be much less terrible circumstances than how Ally McBeal's life seems to her.
    So, if that's what it takes to keep my morale up, I guess I'm only sorry there are only 5 seasons of the show to watch. Hopefully by the time I watch the series finale, some of these issues will be resolved and I won't have to start over or find a new show.

Lillian: "...When Jesus closes a door, he opens a window."

Mary: "Yeah, so we have something to jump out of."

-Saved, 2004

It's Going to Be a Long Fall (Season)

  It's going to be a busy fall season! If you hadn't realized, it's already the second week of October, which means National Novel Writing Month is coming up in about 3 weeks.

    I am wrapping up one novel--with the goal to finish it before November 1, planning for my NaNo novel, also due November 1, preparing to edit a story I wrote a couple years ago--something I'd like to finish by the end of 2012, as well as continuing marketing for my recently published book through social media, guest blogs, review requests, etc.
    This marketing process will be ongoing until either A) it does so well I don't need to spend as much time telling people about it, B) it starts getting such bad reviews that I won't be able to recover, C) my next book is ready to release and I will have to devote more time and effort to promoting that one.
    And all of that is just the stuff on my "book/writing" to-do list! This is on top of my marketing work for my friend's website that I've been doing, as well as searching for a new job.

    However, I have an ace up my sleeve this year: I recently bought (with my awesome NaNo winner discount) the software program Scrivener. If you haven't heard of it, it is a writing software that can help you organize and lay out writing projects more easily. It features outlining, pinboards, keyword assignment, and too many other things to name. I've started using it with my current book, and I can't tell you how much easier it's been for me to figure out what I need to do next, which sections need to be added to, where previous characters appeared, and refer back to my outlines, character descriptions, maps, and other planning documents.

    Granted, I had to spend some time getting all those things in order first--uploading files and separating them out, adding the keywords,  etc., but since then, it's been so much easier to go back and work on chapters that need additional scenes or find any anachronisms in my timeline.
    Once I get to the editing process, I think this program will be even more helpful, rearranging scenes, matching up subplots, organizing the timeline, and catching any plot mistakes.
    Last year, I did a post on why you should do NaNoWriMo (make sure to read the comments!). This year, I'm going to go over how to do NaNo when you have a schedule as busy as mine or busier. You know what my schedule looks like for the remainder of the year--this is all on the schedule regardless of whether I get a part or full time job in the meantime. Check back tomorrow for the follow-up, "How to Do NaNoWriMo Next Month."

Ain't no rest for the wicked.

And Now For Something... Completely Different

  Because of my extremely heavy and complaint-ridden negative-downer post yesterday, I thought I'd go through a few of the positive things going on to balance things out.
    First of all, I'm on to a new book I'm working on--completely opposite of the last one--about international intrigue and scientific discoveries and maybe a strong female love interest. It's going slow. I haven't written something that required so much research in a while, and I'm a little out of practice. But I think having an outline is going to work to my advantage. I can't be creative when it comes to stuff like because I'll get lost in all the stuff I made up. Having a map ahead of time will help, I hope.
    Second of all, the Giants won the Superbowl. Burn a thousand times, burn, on New England. Cocky bastards. I'm not a big football fan--I actually consider myself a Cardinals fan just because Jerry Maguire is my favorite movie--but I am a fan of New York things in general, so I don't feel like it's a betrayal. And some of the commercials were actually pretty good.
These were some of my favorites:

• Ferris Bueller=Classic
• Darth Vader. Nuff said.
• French bulldog racing greyhounds.
• Will Arnett: Funniest Man Ever. Come on!
• Dog Covering Up a Murder
• Ha ha ha Twihards
• This is just hilarious. Uberburn on the white knight.
• Here Wego!
• Danny Devito is funny in almost anything.
• Darth is still funnier.

    We got free lunch, sort of, yesterday at work because apparently it was Jimmy John's Customer Appreciation Day. I got a free small sandwich and we went to Chick-Fil-A to get a couple extra sides (yogurt and granola for me :)
    In addition to my positivity journal, I'm trying to take better care of myself. I'm back on LiveStrong.com this year to try to lose a little weight and eat healthier. I have new exercise DVDs, and I'm trying to cut out some of the eating out. I'm taking vitamins for the first time in YEARS (i.e. they are no longer in gummy or chewable form).
    I am trying to be nicer to myself, which is always hard. I'm setting aside a few bucks out of each paycheck to buy myself something off my Amazon wishlist. Partly because I like getting things in the mail, and partly because at this rate, I'm going to need to have like six birthdays a year to whittle that list down to a reasonable size. 
    I'm trying to commit myself to doing more good, for myself, the people I'm close to, and the world as a whole. It's going to be a long process, but I think it will be worth it.
    I've realized that a lot of my negativity comes from dwelling on stuff. While some it is sort of reasonable to dwell on because it affects me on a day-to-day basis, some of it isn't. I've also realized that I probably wouldn't be so negative if I didn't have that grass-is-always-greener mentality. Things aren't going to magically get better because one thing changes--usually something that is out of your control.
    The Greeks had a word for this: deus ex machina (this is one of my favorite phrases to pull on non-liberal arts people), which means god from the machine". It's usually used in theater, when one of the gods would come down and fix things so that the story, which had gotten far too complex and tangled up for the humans to fix things in three acts, could end. There is no magic wand that's going to give you a better boss or more money or lose weight. You have to effect the changes you want to see in your life, and that's what I'm trying to do now. I suck at it, but I'm hoping I'll get better with time and practice.

Who thought I'd be optimistic in the year the world is supposed to end?

What do you think about optimism? Is it the same as idealism? Is it unrealistic?

Tell me what you think in the comments.

Are Nice People Too Nice?

  Nice people make excellent doormats. Nice people let mean people get away with stuff they shouldn't. Nice people are too nice to trample other people's toes, or call you out on a mistake in front of other people, if they do it at all. I think the majority of people fall somewhere in between the truly nice people and the truly mean people. We don't take advantage of other people too often and we will put our foot (feet?) down when the occasion calls for it. But nice people just want to help everyone. They want to make everyone feel good. They want everything to end happily. Some people might call this kind of idealism and optimism weak or stupid, but I don't think it's either of those. Nice people are nice because they can't be any other way. But, herein we have the rub: how do we differentiate between truly nice people and phony nice people?
    The phony nice people are hard to spot. They put on such a good face for so much of their lives that they almost convince themselves they are nice. But the difference is that the phonies have ulterior motives. They aren't nice for niceness's sake--they're nice because they want the promotion or they want you to scratch their back someday when the karma comes around, or some other less than entirely altruistic reason. These people can sometimes be even worse than mean people because they may be manipulating you without you even knowing it.
    The real nice people, we know who they are, will do everything because they want to. Because they care. They'll always offer you a soda if they're getting one for themselves. They'll always hold the door. They always say "Gesundheit" or "bless you" when you sneeze. They worry for your soul escaping from your body when you have an allergy cold and can't stop sneezing. That's true compassion. They may get put down and laughed at, taken advantage of and overwhelmed, but they will keep doing what they're doing because they can't imagine saying no or making a misstep in their manners and overall kind and generous demeanor.
We also have the people who hate themselves for being so nice. They wish they could be mean. They wish they could exhibit some level of dominance and say no once in a while. These people worry too much about what others think. They know people think they're too yielding. They know people call them a doormat. But they can't help being nice. If you are a truly nice person, you should accept it, embrace it, and learn that most people appreciate someone who cares more than someone who can assert some authority.
    But are the nice people too nice? I can't stand morning people. Morning people are usually nice people. They're too cheerful at an hour that seems impossible to me to be cheerful during. Nice people tend to make me feel bad that I'm not that nice. But I don't care about the same things. I want to get along with people and I want people to like and appreciate me, but I'm not going to say "bless you" when you sneeze because that's one of those mannerisms or superstitions I never bought into. It's a sneeze, a few moments in your chest and out your nose and mouth. It's not your soul trying to escape. (The origin of saying bless you is because people used to--or still do, apparently--think your soul would escape when you sneezed if someone didn't bless you.) Sante or salud might make more sense--to your health, because yes, you're sick, that's why you're sneezing. But I digress, as usual.
    Even if morning people make me cringe a little bit sometimes, I'd still rather be around people that are too nice, genuinely or not, than people who suck. Clearly, I'm a little over-tired, and I probably rambled on a bit about something that mean not mean a whole lot in the grand scheme of things, but self-deprecation is not an attractive quality either, so I'll knock it off. Being nice is good karma, whether you believe in karma or not, and it's always preferable to being an asshole.

Just be yourself. Odds are, someone will like you in spite of it.