So... I'm Back. Sort of.

Once again, I have the "I've been busy" excuse for why I haven't posted anything lately. I've been focusing on my writing, on my book tour, and on myself for the past couple months. I've made some progress on some things, and am still waiting to see progress on other things.

I've made some good progress on my writing. I completed my goal for Camp Nano and hit 15k words in 30 days, and since then, it's been slower, but still going. I thought I got stuck, but it was more weariness than writer's block. I just needed a break, and after having had one, I was finally able to jump back into it a couple days ago and I got going so well that I lost track of the time. A good sign :)

My book tour is off and running this week! It started on Monday, and now that I've been through my first week, I'm exhausted! It was really frustrating being at work and not being able to check in on the host blogs during the day--even though there aren't THAT many people following along. While I don't expect my sales to take much of a leap, I am hoping that it helps me build some "brand" awareness for my writing, and so far, it's been really great to read the comments and feedback from the few people who have stopped by.

I officially took about a week off earlier this month to not do anything. I was seriously burned out on everything, and I really needed a break. I mostly sat around watching Netflix (I'm into the West Wing now for some book research O.o) and catching up with my soap opera, but it was awesome. Then I started getting a ton of posts (in advance) for my book tour stops, and I had to get back into it. It was a much needed rest, however, and I'm glad I had the sense to do it.

Since my tour is already half over, I don't have much work to do on it except checking in for comments and sharing the posts, trying to get people to visit, comment, and interact. I have one more post to write, the topic didn't arrive until today, so I'll have to work on that this weekend, but that's not a problem.

As much as I like the story I've been working on, I did spend quite a bit of time on my "break" procrastinating and doing character outlines and plot mapping for a few other ideas I've been kicking around. I had a blast with all that, but I can't start writing any of those until I finish the one I'm working on now. I know myself too well, and I know I'll never get back to the first one if I start a new one.

As to the blogging, I'm so far behind and out of touch, it's ridiculous. I haven't been on here since mid-April, and I got back to Happy to Entertain for a couple weeks before my overwhelm hit and I took another break. Not to mention my three other blogs... I am hoping since it's summer, I will have more time to post. Less TV, longer daylight hours, and not having any upcoming publishing plans will definitely help. I just have to get back in the habit again.

Despite not having been blogging about it, I've been seeing a shit-ton of movies already this summer, and I've been keeping up with my shows and all the finales that have been going on this month. There have been some really good ones (Star Trek, Now You See Me, Hangover 3) and some not so good ones (Gatsby). I actually recorded a YouTube video (it's private, so don't bother searching) of a review of the movie, but the video isn't showing up right on YouTube, so that's why I haven't shared it. It shows fine on the video manager and on my computer with the recording and sound and everything, but for some reason, on the video's page on YouTube, the color's off and it's split like a mirror and it's just wrong. Disappointing. I had wanted to share it, because I thought it turned out pretty well for my first ever self-recorded video.

Oh, if you haven't noticed, I redesigned the blog, again. I actually went through the trouble of dumping everything over to WordPress.com because I was thinking of switching to get a cleaner look, but then I remembered why I moved Happy to Entertain off WordPress and onto Blogger in the first place--free WordPress sucks.

While I like the widgets and plugins (self-hosted only) and the fact that there are categories AND tags, it's way too limited with the design elements. It won't even read Javascript or Flash in the widgets, not to mention iframes, and you can't even edit your own CSS without paying an extra 30 freaking bucks A YEAR! Total bollocks. It's cheaper to buy a domain and add it to my existing host for my self-hosted WordPress blogs! On the one hand, their domain purchasing is pretty great because it includes hosting, but you still have to "upgrade" to edit your CSS which makes that domain purchase money not worth spending.

Anyway, I spent two days messing around in WordPress trying to find a way to make my blog look like I wanted it to, and I decided, for all the trouble, I think I'll just go back and update my Blogger design. I am no expert at coding, so I can't replicate some of the elements I'd like (like a full width header image), but I think it looks quite nice, and I've also gotten rid of some sidebar stuff that I didn't think was necessary. Hopefully you like it too, and if you don't, tough shit. :P

Also, last piece of catching up, I've become addicted to Etsy. Who knew? I had heard about it a while back, but I didn't realize how much stuff they actually had, and how much of it was pure awesome, until about two weeks ago. If I suddenly came into some extra money, even a hundred bucks, most of it would probably end up being spent on that site. As it is, I can only get one or two things a month on my current budget, but that's ok. Probably for the best. Not like I really NEED any of it, it's just pretty :)

My eyes are starting to get blurry from looking at too much blog design stuff today, so I'd better switch off to something else for a bit.

This was my jams today while blog (re)designing:

Come on try a little, Nothing is forever.

There's got to be something better than in the middle.

Getting in Tune

  No, I'm not talking about my musical skills, which are pretty limited, though I'm trying to change that. I'm talking about perspective, my continued theme from last week. I have spent several months now working on my goals, while still sticking with the status quo which allows me to earn money while I'm trying to get the rest of this stuff in order. You gotta make some sacrifices (e.g. selling out) to get what you really want (e.g. making a living doing what I enjoy).
    Sidenote/bonus: the inspiration for my post title, and arguably the greatest band in rock and roll history: THE WHO.

    I'll admit, I've become a little despondent about my progress. I'm still enjoying working on my own projects, but I feel like my present track has hit a plateau in terms of progress toward my ultimate goals. It's been very frustrating to have the feeling that I've worked so hard and accomplished so much, while having so little to show for it.
    I feel like I need to revise my strategy, but I feel like everything is running at such a fast pace right now that I don't have quite enough time to reevaluate everything I've been working on to find a way to do it better. It's extremely frustrating to know that you're on a plateau in terms of results and productivity and not having the time to be able to improve it. If I were to stop work on these projects completely to strategize, I'd fall far enough behind that even if I came up with a better strategy, it'd take a lot longer to implement and might even undo some of the progress I've made so far.
    I have scaled back my work on a few things because I was on the verge of burn-out a few weeks ago, and it seems to have helped me get back on track a little bit, but I'm still not where I want to be with these projects. I believe in hard work, and I know nothing comes easy. I just wish I didn't also have to deal with everybody else around me trampling on my goals so that I can become their version of a productive member of society. I'm working on that in my own way with my projects; it's just a process that takes longer, and while more fulfilling, can take a long time to be lucrative, if it ever is.

    The argument against me is: you have to be realistic. You have to have a car. You have to have a place to live. You have to eat. Granted, I do have to eat, but I don't absolutely have to have a car. And if you want to get right down to it, I'd probably survive even if I didn't have a place to live.
    Case in point: I just saw a post about award-winning actors who were once homeless. And then they worked really hard for a few years, caught a break, worked really hard some more, and won an Oscar, a Golden Globe, etc.
    This was inspiring to me. Not that I want to deliberately live out of my car until such a point as I'm successful with my writing, but if these people made it to where they are after living out of their cars or at a bus station or whatever, there's hope for the rest of us with dreams. There are no hand-outs. We all have to put in the work, the perseverance, and the time to get to where we want to be.
    Sometimes that means we have to make sacrifices, and sometimes it means we have to do things that our families and friends disapprove of in order to achieve our dreams. Of course, looking like Halle Berry probably wouldn't hurt.

Success is simply getting up one more time than you fall down. 

(I attribute this to a wall-sign in Jerry Maguire,
but I'm not sure where it came from originally.)

The Great Morale Booster of 2013

  While I've made some great progress so far in 2013--I've already lost 4 pounds on my new diet (sidenote: counting calories sucks when you like Coke and Chipotle so much), I've added over 8,000 words to my edit-in-progress, putting it over 50,000 now [cue excited shriek], and I'm even getting back into a better exercise routine.
    Yet, 2013 has already been a little tumultuous. My car may now have transmission issues. The check engine light came back on with the same error code as before. My release date for my edit-in-progress may need to be pushed back a few weeks. And I'm still not any closer to moving out.
    However, perspective is the theme here. Whenever I feel like nothing seems to be going right, I turn to Ally McBeal. Yes, the television show. Why? Because nothing in my life ever seems as awful as she seems to think things in her life are.
    Ally McBeal always makes me feel like my life is in way better shape and the winning combination is just about to make itself known. Although season 1 and 2 did a better job of this--I'm now on season 3--her neuroses and hallucinations and self-sabotage make me feel like things around here are on the verge of turning around. It may seem silly, but if it weren't for Ally McBeal, my outlook on life would be a lot more pessimistic than it already is.
    Over time, the show has actually become funnier, too, which helps. And, Ally became more of a sympathetic protagonist. I actually hated her character when I first started watching this show, but I kept watching it because it was cathartic. Over time, especially with the addition of Lucy Liu's character, the show has become funnier, more complex, and more entertaining overall.
    If you can get through the obnoxious theme music (the show's theme, not Ally's personal theme music), you're golden. I muted the Carole King theme song from Gilmore Girls almost every episode I saw over the years because it was so annoying to me. The Ally McBeal theme has grown on me a bit (sidenote/funny coincidence: Vonda Shepherd, the theme's singer and show regular just sang the Gilmore Girls theme song in an episode I watched earlier), but it's a little too loud and not quite pop enough to be catchy and enjoyable. Unlike the theme from Friends ("I'll Be There for You") or Scrubs ("I'm No Superman").
    Back to this show's ability to help boost my morale: Money problems, job dissatisfaction, disappointment with the progress (or lack thereof) on my personal projects that I work so hard on and which mean so much to me--all of these things seem to be much less terrible circumstances than how Ally McBeal's life seems to her.
    So, if that's what it takes to keep my morale up, I guess I'm only sorry there are only 5 seasons of the show to watch. Hopefully by the time I watch the series finale, some of these issues will be resolved and I won't have to start over or find a new show.

Lillian: "...When Jesus closes a door, he opens a window."

Mary: "Yeah, so we have something to jump out of."

-Saved, 2004

My Belated Holiday

It's been an extremely short December! I feel like it's lasted forever, and at the same time, I can't believe it's two days before Christmas! I JUST got my holiday shopping done yesterday, but I already have to exchange something because I bought the wrong item and I need to get photo paper because photos were a part of my gift. I know I have photo paper here somewhere, but I cannot find it. That's what happens when you move in and out some many times. Stuff gets lost in the shuffle.

I've been working on editing my new book to publish and I've hit a snag--I'm starting to wonder whether I need to cut out a character because I'm not sure how much they actually help the plot. I just skimmed the rest of the story last night, and I think I need to straighten out some of my themes a little better. Right now it looks like a really long run-on sentence/stream of consciousness thing.

The holidays snuck up on me this year. I was so prepared last year--I had everything bought and shipped weeks before Christmas, but this year, I was so busy, I lost track of the time and had to do all my shopping 3 days before Christmas! I don't think that's ever happened to me before. It's also the first year I didn't put the Christmas tree up.

Even when I was living on my own, I came back home and put the tree up at my dad's house, but I lost track of time and my dad ended up putting it up! It actually looks nicer I think--I usually get carried away with the ornaments because we have so many pretty ones.

I am getting started on my New Years Resolutions though, though I'm trying to think of them more as goals rather than set-in-stone resolutions.

So far:

1. Edit/Publish 3 books next calendar year
2. Write a new novel/screenplay (haven't decided which)
3. Write a children's story
4. Lose weight (unoriginal, I know)
5. Find a way to earn money at something I enjoy (earning money from my writing or my books would be nice, but if I found a regular job that I liked and that paid decent enough, that'd be all right too)
6. Win Nano again :)
7. Plus a few other things I've been wanting to do for a few years now, but haven't had the time/motivation to teach myself to do or the money to have someone else teach me...

Well, the world didn't end the other day. I didn't really expect it to. But with all the terrible things that have happened around the world and especially around the country lately, I'm hoping 2013 will usher in a new year filled with more positivity, peace, and compassion. I'm hoping these things go in cycles, and that 2013 is the beginning of a new cycle with more ups than downs.

New Year's state of mind.

Say Hello To My Little Friend

  If anybody needs to talk gun control, Tony Montana is one of them. But, in light of recent events, I figured I'd throw my hand in as well. I'm referring specifically to the movie theater shooting  that occurred in Aurora, Colorado at the midnight premiere of the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises. While I didn't know any of the victims or their families, this hit me a little too close for three reasons: 1) Aurora's not too far away from where I live; 2) I am a major Batman fan; 3) I love the movies and the movie theater.
    I think what bothered me most about the incident was that it took place in a movie theater. The movie theater to me is like my home away from home. I have seen so many beautiful movies and met so many amazing characters in the movie theater. I've laughed, I've cried, I've been on the edge of my seat. I saw LOTR Two Towers seven times on the big screen. It's my safe haven when I'm having a crappy week or when I'm stressed out; the one place I think to go that will make me feel better is to the movies. All that changed when some guy decided to murder a bunch of people inside a theater.
    As to the guy, I don't think he's crazy the way some people think he is. I don't think he wasn't crazy like he had voices in his head or he was abused as a kid. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and he obviously planned it out pretty thoroughly. In short, I have serious doubts about his insanity plea. It seems to me that he's overacting trying to get people to believe it. However, having said that, there is the possibility that he was "manic" in the sense of being obsessive. Maybe he was so obsessed with the previous movie that he wanted to act it out. That's an explanation, but in my book, it doesn't make him crazy enough to use an insanity defense. Mental illness doesn't always make someone incompetent or ignorant of what they're doing. In this case, I don't think that he ought to be able to use mental illness as a defense even if mental illness is the explanation for his actions.
    The big issues that came out of this event were gun control and movie censorship. Even after something like this, I don't believe censorship is the answer. It's not Hollywood's responsibility to limit their storytelling because of a few idiots or crazy people that take their stories a little too seriously. It's the individual's responsibility. I may not take Independence Day as proof of extraterrestrial life, but that doesn't mean I should ignore that guy over there who does take it as proof. To offer a comparison, we don't ban the Bible when someone says God told him to kill somebody. (Think about it before you think about berating me in the comments for that one.)
    We as a society have become so out of touch with each other that we allow--yes, allow--this type of thing to happen. We all go around thinking: sure, I have a creepy neighbor or a creepy classmate but it's not MY problem. It's somebody else's problem. It's their problem. You know what I have to say to that: wise up. There are just too damn many of us for us to ignore someone who we think might be dangerous or have a problem because we think that, if we ignore them, they'll just go away. I'm not talking about a witch hunt--that would be entirely counterproductive and probably cause more situations like this than there already are. I'm saying that we have to take it upon ourselves to be responsible citizens--responsible for our fellow humanity, no matter how weird, creepy or dangerous we think they are, and try to get them the help they need. Whether it's just saying hello to someone who feels invisible or whether it's telling the landlord that the person in 6B just walked in with a bunch of rope and gasoline, we have to stop thinking that all of the bad things in the world are somebody else's problem. They're not. They're everybody's problem.
    I didn't want to get into the gun control thing too much because I don't have a whole lot of background on the issue to take sides. Yes, guns are dangerous. On the other hand, people who know how to use them in times of crisis can save lives. However, it seems ridiculous to me that someone can buy all the stuff to stage a miniature Armageddon on the internet. People hide behind their computer screens, once again, thinking it's not their problem if they sell the bullet that killed a kid at a movie somewhere six states over. Tell you what, ammunition wholesale guy: it is your effing problem. Maybe 99.99% of the people you sell to use their weapons for recreational use and all their ammunition ends up in a bunch of beer cans in a field somewhere. But that other, albeit, minor percentage of people you sell to who do use their weapons and their ammunition for violence are your problem too. Even if only in a karmic sense.
    I don't have all the answers. I don't know if the government should impose stricter laws on gun sales or background checks or whatever. I don't know if it would make a difference. What I believe is that when it comes to a gray area like guns and gun control, it comes to each individual as to what the right thing to do is. Sell to the suspicious guy in the trench coat or don't. Tell a teacher or a cop or a doctor or whoever about a person's overzealous ambition to be just like Don Corleone, or keep it to yourself (sidenote: no disrespect whatsoever meant to Brando or Coppola, but the don was a bad dude).
    When something like this happens, we have to stop trying to place blame. Oh, it was his parents' fault or it was the movie's fault, or it was the law's fault that it happened. It could be a result of one, all three, or none of them, but even if all those things went along right as they were supposed to, it's still up to each of us to take the initiative and protect our fellow human beings, whether they are the would-be victims or the would-be perpetrators in such a violent scene. I'm not trying to blame anyone for why this happened, or why I now feel like a rat in a cage when I sit down in a movie theater. I'm not saying anyone could have or should have done anything different. But in the future, we can keep in mind the possibility that if we make it our problem, if we offer up a little more care and compassion towards friends and weirdos alike, we can change how things turn out--hopefully for the better.

TDKR was good--you should see it if you haven't done so yet.

Summer Movies: Take 2

The Dark Fairy Tale: Snow White and the Huntsman June 1

Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen, sold. Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman. I'll take two. And the girl from Twilight as Snow White-meh. But, not just Snow White--badass forest-dwelling Snow White who hunts and battles huge, scary creatures--all right, you got me. This movie just looks amazing in every way, the visuals, the plot, the villain, the action. For everyone who is looking for a kick in the face to Disney happily ever afters, I think this is right up your alley.

The Ultimate Prequel: The Amazing Spiderman July 3

I saw three Spiderman movies and I fully intend on seeing a fourth one. Amazingly enough, the catch was the girl. As much as I like Kirsten Dunst, I really hated her in the Spiderman movies. She was just a completely unsympathetic character for me until the third one. Now, with a new female lead, played by Emma Stone, no less, I am ready for another installment. I can't say I didn't love Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker--the guy was born to be Peter Parker--but Andrew Garfield is a new kind of Peter Parker. One with a past, one with secrets, and in spite of the hair (which is way too coifed to be a nerdy photographer), I think it'll be good.

The Heavyweight Champion: BATMAN (aka The Dark Knight Rises) July 26

I've been waiting. I've been patient. But good God, this one is gonna be good. Aside from all the flack Anne Hathaway took for the Catwoman outfit, I never doubted the movie for a second. The poster has been my screensaver and Facebook profile photo for like a year now. New trailers with Joseph Gordon Levitt mean this is not just going to be good, this is going to be stunning. This one I may have to stand in line in the rain for. Seriously, I don't know anyone would bother releasing their movie the same weekend. This one is going to kill it. (I would have made this take up the whole screen if I could. Watch it in full screen view!)

The Guilty Pleasure: The Expendables 2 August 17

I did a double feature the day I saw the Expendables, and it was by far the favorite. I know I'm nostalgic. I love the all-star cast put together with old guys from the eighties, and I am a sucker for anything that recalls my beloved Die Hard movies, but adding Van Damme and Chuck Norris means I am looking forward to another real action movie. One that isn't trying to win any awards, but just wants to clobber you with explosions, guns and awesome hand-to-hand combat stunts. What can I say? I love my action movies and when Jason Statham and Bruce Willis are in them, there's just no way to say no.

PS: Thanks, IMDB. I couldn't do it without you.

Summer Movies: Take 1

The One Based On A Book: The Hunger Games (already released)

    So it's not really a summer movie, but it was pretty huge, so it's going on the list. I really liked it, and yes, I'm one of those people who didn't read the book first. However, I maintain that when it comes to major films like this, it's better to see the movie first and read the book after. That way, you're not disappointed when you read the book (which is almost always better), but if you read the book and then see the movie, it's always "Oh, I'm so mad! They left this out. They changed this part. That's not how I pictured that character."

    The cast was good, the costumes were amazing, and the twist was excellent. Jennifer Lawrence is definitely an actress to watch as movies go on (bonus: she seems to be the only cast member that's signed on for the sequel to X-Men!)

The All Star: The Avengers (released May 4)

    Yeah, that one. I've been waiting for this one for a couple years now, and it was worth every minute. In fact, I liked it so much I went back and watched both Iron Man movies and I plan on seeing it again soon. (Iron Man was for catch-up on Black Widow and teaser scenes from the Avengers--watching Thor and Captain America again will be purely for fun :)

    I was disappointed, though. I wanted more scenes with Thor, more fight/action scenes at the beginning, and a better Stan Lee cameo. I know he's getting up there in years, but I wanted more than a TV interview at the end of the film. However, none of these took away from how good the film was. Those were just a couple of my personal expectations, and the film exceeded all my other expectations brilliantly, especially with the Hulk. Mark Ruffalo was perfect, and the CGI Hulk was awesome. (Bonus: Another reason I have to go see it again is because--SPOILER--while I did see the teaser scene with the new villain after the start of the credits, I didn't see the one at the very end, which I must now go and sit through all the credits for.)

 

The Remake: Dark Shadows May 11

So I wasn't super thrilled about this when I first heard about it because I didn't know what the hell it was supposed to be. But, while Johnny Depp and Tim Burton are usually enough to get me into a theater, Michelle Pfieffer is more than enough. She's one of those people that you can't take your eyes off no matter what she does, and this movie looks hilarious in a creepy, off-beat way, which is the kind of vampire movie we need right now.

The Sequel: Men In Black 3 May 25

As awful as the second one was, I can't say I'm not intrigued. Josh Brolin as a young Tommy Lee Jones? He's only 20 years younger than him. the premise of the movie makes it seem like he's playing a much younger version than that (especially considering the first Men in Black came out in 1997.) But, in any case, I relish the chance to hear another Will Smith rhyme about the MIB, and another chance to enjoy the comedy and banter between two of the most unlikely characters to end up as partners.

On Meeting An Icon: Elmore Leonard

  Last weekend, I had the unique opportunity of attending a discussion/book signing with one of my favorite authors: Elmore Leonard. Author of Get Shorty, Rum Punch (better known as the film Jackie Brown), and several books and stories featuring Raylan Givens, the main character on the FX TV series Justified, the man is a legend. He was in Lone Tree out by Park Meadows mall to promote his new book, Raylan, along with his son, Peter Leonard--also promoting a new book. I was a a little surprised he hadn't drawn a larger crowd, but then again, he was at a Barnes and Noble way in the hell out of the way, and he is a writer, not a rock star. In fact, there were probably only 20 or so people gathered around the table he and his son, also an author, sat at.
     I was amazed to be sitting so close to a man whose books I've been reading for years, whose characters and sense of humor I've gotten to know so well. Once I start one of his books, I usually can't put it down, and I'm finished reading in a few weeks or less.
    During the discussion portion, I felt like I was in school again, where the teacher is at the front and nobody is brave enough to ask a question. Peter Leonard was the one leading the discussion, asking his father questions, talking about his own book every so often. In the end, the focus ended up being more on interesting memories, like meeting Charles Bronson and George Clooney, rather than on Raylan.
    When a few people finally put forth some questions, I was surprised again that the conversation was on writing tips rather than on Elmore Leonard's books. There are dozens of novels and short stories to pick from, especially the numerous ones that have been made into movies that people are more familiar with, and still, people were more focused on his 10 Rules of Writing and screenwriting in general.
    One of the things he said about screenwriting stuck with me: Peter mentioned how he showed a script he'd written to his father and asked his opinion, to which Elmore replied that wanting to be a screenwriter was like wanting to be a copilot. While I have always loved the movies, and I have always loved writing, I always enjoyed writing novels and stories more than screenplays. So, I thought his comment was pretty funny, and made a lot of sense, though I suspect he may have hurt the pride of the person who asked the question...
    Another thing I really enjoyed about the discussion was character names. Elmore Leonard says he spends days, even weeks, trying to choose the right name for a character in his books. I do not do this when I write. I hit up a names website (for whatever reason, I like BabyNames.com despite the bright colors and weird fonts) for anywhere from a few minutes to a couple hours making notes about names I like, until I narrow it down to a few. The ones I still like that don't make onto the list of main characters I keep on file for secondary characters as the story goes on.
    Elmore and Peter were saying how people buy names to be featured in their books. The money is donated to charity, but I was surprised that people spend thousands of dollars just to get their name in a book. Elmore Leonard was saying how he didn't always use the names, and he still had quite a long list of names to use in his books because they weren't right for the characters he was writing. If a person has a weak name or a boring name, "You can't shoot someone with a name like that," he said. And as fans of his books know, someone almost always ends up getting shot. That remark resonated with me as a writer. A WASP-y character can't have a modern sounding name, and a cowboy can't have a name that a dancer would have. It just doesn't fit. It won't be believable.
    What surprised me most about all this was not even how much people spend to have their names published in a Leonard book--it was more that Elmore keeps letting people have auctions where people can buy a name in one of his books when he doesn't use them very often. The man is 86 years old. He can't fit that many names into that many more books, something he realizes as well.
    One thing no one saw coming, not even the authors, was a surprise guest: during the discussion, a woman in the second of three rows of chairs raised her hand and asked a question about Rum Punch. Neither Peter nor Elmore recognized that it was Pam Grier, the star of Quentin Tarantino's Jackie Brown. Once she identified herself, there was general surprise and awe that she had shown up. I knew that she lived in Colorado at one point, but I didn't know she was still here! Considering Jackie Brown is my second favorite Tarantino movie, I was quite starstruck myself.
    At the end of the discussion, everyone lined up and Elmore Leonard signed books. While most people were buying new books, copies of Raylan, I had brought a book from home. I meant to bring The Hot Kid, Riding the Rap, or Glitz, one of my favorites, I forgot when I left my apartment and I had to ask my dad for a book. Fortunately, he happened to have a copy of City Primeval: High Noon in Detroit that I took. I think I was the only person that brought a book from home.
    When I walked out of there that afternoon, I read the note he'd written when he signed my used copy of the book--"Take it easy." You too, Mr. Leonard. You too.

Must start campaign to get Stephen King to Colorado...

And Now, A Tap Dance

This is probably just me being weird and noticing this, but have you ever noticed how much live sports look like dancing? It is entirely possible that I have been watching too many musicals lately (Christmas musicals at that), and I am transferring the music that's playing in my head onto the new programming that I'm watching so it seems that the hockey players are tapping their sticks and zig-zagging through each other to the tune of a jazzy tap dance song. But maybe they've always looked like they were dancing and it just took a few consecutive hours of Christmas movie musicals for me to realize that that's what they were doing.
    I think basketball players do the same thing, and football players too. They might be dancing to a different tune, that's all, because they're on their feet and not on skates, so they don't move as fast.

And for something relatively different.

    Nothing gets you in the mood for the holidays like Christmas movies, especially ones with singing in them. One of my favorite parts about Christmas is watching the movies. While it seems more engaging and fun to watch them on television where there are Christmas commercial breaks to get you even more psyched up for the holidays, the Christmas movies they play on television are either a) bad, or b) good, but all the good ones are on different channels at the exact same time. So, I have compiled my own Christmas movie collection (with a little help from my dad's movie collection) to enjoy whenever I want.
  Highlights: 

• Home Alone
• Holiday Inn
• The Family Stone
• The Holiday
• Serendipity
• While You Were Sleeping
• It's a Wonderful Life
• Meet Me In St. Louis
• Love Actually
• How the Grinch Stole Christmas
• Ratatouille (I know that one's not a real "Christmas" movie, but I love it so it's in here too.)

    The ones that are not on the list I do watch on TV because I don't own them (Elf, Christmas Vacation, The Santa Clause--Amazingly enough, I do not own these, but they're all on the list this year ;)
    These movies all remind me of some of the best parts about Christmas--family, love, lights, music, and presents. It's not actually the opening and receiving presents that I enjoy, but the wrapping of them. I am a rather excellent and--when the situation calls for it--creative gift wrapper, so that's one of my favorite parts.
    It's been snowing a bit lately too, so that makes it seem closer and closer to Christmas!

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

I know I digressed a little from sports to Christmas movies, but what are your favorite things about Christmas? Or your favorite Christmas movies (especially if they're not on this list!)?

Share in the comments.

The Holiday Spirit Appears Early

  I used to insist on waiting until Thanksgiving was over before I even started thinking about Christmas. I even skipped Christmas one year (i.e. did not buy presents or ask for any or put up a tree or anything--though not everyone listened when I said I didn't want anything) to protest the level of commercialism it had attained.
    However, sometimes after you go without something for long enough, the next time it comes around makes you appreciate it even more. (One case in point, the NHL lockout a few years ago made me realize how much I enjoyed watching hockey, even though I had not watched too much of it in the previous couple of seasons.) Case in point two: I really missed Christmas after I skipped it that year.
    I enjoy shopping for Christmas presents and making cookies and putting up the tree and singing Christmas music. Even the people who are hard to shop for, I don't mind as much because I enjoy the season. The lights and the colors and especially the movies. I know there aren't too many people who get to have a happy ending Hollywood version of Christmas anymore, and it has become overly commercialized over the past few decades, but it's still a lovely thought. Thinking about children believing in Santa, families coming together, forgetting all your misanthropy and cynicism and giving in to the holiday spirit, and spreading good cheer and good will towards men (PC term=humanity).
    I already started searching for Christmas presents, as I plan to do a lot of my shopping online this year. I'm hoping that 1) this will save me a little bit of money, 2) I can find things for the hard-to-shop-for people a little easier, 3) this will help me get most of my shopping done earlier rather than last minute, and 4) this will allow me to find a few things that you just can't find at a Target or a JC Penney's.
    I blame this recent surfacing of Christmas spirit on the huge snowstorm we had in my neck of the woods this week. I woke up on Thursday and said, wow, it looks just like Christmas! While most of it's melted already, as the temperatures shot back up into the fifties again, it doesn't change the fact that I'm already dreaming of a white Christmas (despite that we maybe get one every ten years here because it refuses to snow ON Christmas--it always snows too early or too late and it's all melted by the Christmas day arrives).

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

What are your thoughts on this (somewhat) impending holiday? 

Love it? Hate it? (FYI: If you say you hate it, you will henceforth be known as the Grinch.) 

What's your favorite, or least favorite, part about it?
Share in the comments.

Nostalgia Strikes Again

  Nostalgia, from the Greek, means a sense of pain, sadness or yearning to return to times gone by. It's not just homesickness or recalling fond memories, though it is often used in that sense. And although not everyone uses it in this way, I tend to use it to embody an entire era, one in which I had not even been born, rather than just memories contained within my own life.
    Sometimes I say I'm old-fashioned or conventional (more in my taste than in my actual ideas and opinions--in that case, vintage might be a more appropriate word), but mostly, or perhaps more accurately, I am nostalgic. I watch old movies and old television shows, and new movies and television shows that take place in that particular period of time, and I wonder why we thought it was necessary to evolve certain aspects of that culture into what we have today. Because today's culture is lacking some parts, parts that should have persisted, from that era. This has nothing to do with the technology overload or anything like that--I'm talking about our communication, interaction and the overall way in which we present ourselves on a day to day basis.
    I'll admit, I may be whistling dixie, and you can chalk a lot of this up to me having seen way too many episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show and Mad Men, but there's something I really love about the fact that everything seemed so much more orderly and comme il faut about American life fifty or sixty years ago. These examples may have you scratching your head, wondering how I could call Dick Van Dyke in any way orderly and organized, or any of the characters' personal lives in Mad Men normal and as they should be, but there are things that exist in those shows that no longer exist.
    Today, everything is about comfort. We wear jeans to work (or we do where I work), nobody carries a proper hat or an overcoat, we all have sweatshirts and stocking hats when the weather calls for them, and we yell down the hall rather than politely phone someone in their office (though in my situation, not all of our phones are hooked up, so that one wouldn't be possible anyway).
    But it's not just what they wore. They had a certain way of acting--a politesse, at least outwardly, that has all but disappeared from the modern world. Some people might call it disingenuous, or phony, but it was correct--tactful, polite, and appropriate. It was being respectful and treating other people like they were people--not good or bad people, or well-liked people or disliked people, just human beings. There are things you can say in certain company, and there are things you absolutely don't say in certain company.  People held umbrellas for strangers and walked them to their cars. They held doors and elevators and didn't panic at the idea of saying "hello, how are you," to someone they happened to be stuck riding 10 floors up with.
    Back then, you kept your thoughts or opinions to yourself when it wasn't your place to speak up, and you addressed certain people with respect whether you liked them or not. While some of this propriety has managed to survive, at least in certain circles or for certain people, a lot of it has disintegrated. Lots of people now say whatever they want whenever, wherever, and to whomever they happen to be in the vicinity of.
    While this may seem more real and honest--qualities which have become more valuable over the years as politeness and respect have become less valuable for whatever reason--I still feel like there is a line somewhere that's being crossed. It's just that so many years have passed, and so many people have stepped on that line, that we can't quite see where it is anymore.
    Call me sentimental, but i think it'd be nice if everyone still wore suits and high heels and pencil skirts. The world would seem to me more civilized, less cutthroat and ugly, as the news inevitably portrays it. On the other hand, then I'd have to learn how to do my hair so it looked perfect all day. Maybe sweatpants, cursing like a sailor, and instant messaging are not so bad after all.

We're going back--back to the future, man!

Are there some customs or mannerisms you'd like to see make a comeback, 

or do I just need to get over the fact that I was born in the wrong part of the century?

Share in the comments.

PS: NaNoWriMo starts in eight days. Have you picked your topic yet?

5 Reasons To Do NaNoWriMo Next Month

  For anyone who even remotely considers themselves a writer, and who doesn't know already, November is National Novel Writing Month. This means that for 30 days, crazy people all over the world will be fiendishly writing into the wee hours of the morning to finish 50 thousand words by midnight on the thirtieth.
    I have done this, twice now (and won, I might add), and it's a lot of fun. Not the way that going to the movies is fun or playing pool is fun, but it's fun in that it's a challenge. It breaks down to about 1,667 words every day. When you think about it, that's not that much. It's like 5 double spaced pages of whatever you want. It doesn't have to be Shakespeare, and it doesn't even have to have all the commas. (You won't find me as Constant Writer on the Nano website, though. I was doing Nano long before I was doing Insistent and Persistent ;)

    The purpose of all this writing is to crank out a draft of a novel that you've been thinking about without worrying so much about getting it perfect. No first draft is perfect (you may know this as pretty much anyone who's taken a writing class will have read "Shitty First Drafts" or parts of it), but for some reason, we all manage to convince ourselves that it has to be. And this fear of writing something that isn't totally mind-blowing and amazing right out of the gate is what prevents us from actually writing something.
    So, what keeps you motivated for thirty days to actually keep writing? Stats. If you have any competitive streak, you can make friends through the forums and battle each other with your word count. One of the important things to the process is that word count matters, not page count. So it doesn't matter how big you make your font or how wide you make your margins, it's the number of words that count.
    This isn't just a numbers game, though. There comes a satisfaction that is indescribable when you cross the 50k mark. Even if you have more to say, once you hit that point, the pressure is off and you have such a wonderful sense of accomplishment.
    If you like to write, or if you're just feeling a little crazy, check out the Nano website and sign up (they help you track your stats) and get ready for one wordy month!

Word Nerds Live Here.

**UPDATE** SOOOO I totally forgot that I had put "5 Reasons" at the top of this when I started it and realized driving home that there may or may not be 5 separate reasons. I will try to enumerate them in the comments, but it wasn't a completely thought out plan, so, apologies, dear readers ;)

Have you written a novel? A short story? Some piece of writing that you're proud of?
What's your favorite part about writing?
Share in the comments below.

Lonesome Town: Or, How I'm Learning to Stop Worrying and Live Alone

  Living alone is strange. It's been a while since I have lived alone, a little over two years. It takes a little getting used to. I'm also in a different situation than the last time I lived alone: I'm out of school, working full-time, and I have my cat living here. I'm trying to make it a home, not just a place where I keep my stuff, and that's different too. That is expensive, I've discovered. I had some money set aside specifically to help me get some of the essentials, the things that I would need to live here indefinitely. I'm operating under the assumption that I won't be moving out at the end of my lease, also somethign I've never done before. I still kind of feel like that's what people do, for whatever reason. College town, I guess.
    In any case, I've moved most of the stuff from my dad's house up here, and I've got furniture, my furniture that I don't have to give back to anyone after I move out. I am even working on hanging pictures, not just posters or magazine cut-outs, a hold-out habit from my high school days, but actual pictures with frames and everything. It's strange trying to be a real grown-up who pays bills, buys their own groceries, does laundry in the machines in the complex as opposed to at mom's or dad's, and has to cook for themselves because eating out all the time gets so expensive. I don't mind some of it, only I wish it didn't cost so much. I like having all my stuff in one place. I like having some of the responsibility, and I like that when I go home, I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't feel like it.
    The cat is getting used to being here--he's already found the ONE piece of furniture that I hadn't covered with something to prevent it from becoming a scratching post and turned it into a scratching post. But now that I've identified it, he will be SOL. I'll have to get him a scratching post, a real one, that he can do whatever he wants with. Boy, was he terrified today, though! His bowl was *gasp* almost empty when I got home! He sounded a little hoarse actually, like he'd been crying for a while for someone to feed him. I think he really believes that he will starve if he ever completely cleans the bowl, like no one will ever fill it again if he eats it all. I'd really like to get him on a schedule where he gets a proper serving size twice a day, but I have a feeling he might take out his frustration on the ottoman, aka scratching post.
    I mostly like being alone here, alone meaning without people, because while the cat speaks, it's not in English. I can watch whatever I want on TV, I can spend however long I want online, I can eat spaghetti four nights in a row without judgment, and I don't have to worry about anyone leaving the toilet seat up in the middle of the night. But there are times when I feel a little funny about being here by myself. I'm not particularly concerned about burglary being on the second floor and having so many neighbors around all the time, but I worry about getting trapped under a bookshelf with no one to come home and rescue me, or choking on a pretzel and having no one to thump me on the back to help me cough it up.
    This place even feels a little bit big, even with the cat. I wish I had more storage and closet space, but who doesn't? The rooms feel big, the bedroom in particular. I don't have enough stuff to fill the place, and yet I almost have too much. The living room is packed, two bookshelves, two small shelves for movies, the TV, a small kitchen table I'm using as a desk, a loveseat, and a chair. It's not crowded, but it's definitely full. I just don't want to buy something else for the bedroom unless I know I'll use it, and not just for table space.
    It's quiet here, and my plants seem to be enjoying the east and west windows instead of the overpowering sun from south facing windows like they're used to. I really should try to become a better cook, so I can do a little better than spaghetti and cheese for dinner occasionally. But in the meantime, I'll keep sleeping diagonally in my bed because I don't have to share it with anyone, and I'll keep watching TV and watching movies online because no one's going to tell me I should go outside or do something more productive, and I'll keep squirting the cat with the water bottle until he learns that the ottoman is not a scratching post. It's almost bedtime, as I have been a little sick since yesterday and I need to get a little extra rest.

At least it's whole wheat spaghetti, right?

What was your reaction to living by yourself for the first time? 

Fear? Independence? Homesickness? Freedom, at long last? Or something else entirely? 

Share in the comments. 

Yes, I'm now soliciting comments, dear readers. Kindly play along ;)

Drawing A Line In The Sand

  I use movies as an emotional crutch occasionally. A really bad mood can all turn around with a good movie. An average humdrum day can become memorable after seeing an excellent movie. You can be this close to tearing your eyes out, and then you see a hilarious comedy and you forget what you were pissed off at in the first place. But movies can have an effect on you that is not for the better. You watch too many chick flicks and you might start to believe that relationships work like that in real life. You see too many action movies, you're liable to accidentally karate chop your boss one day while doing a demonstration. You sit through too many suspense or horror movies, every noise in the night, every innocent sound around you, will turn into something sinister. This isn't a guaranteed consequence, but it can happen, and does. It just depends on how much you suspend your disbelief when you watch films, and how long it takes you to un-suspend it after the movie's over.
    I will leave the lights on when I go to bed after I see a movie that really scared me. I will seriously contemplate taking up kung fu or jujitsu after seeing a great action movie, though I give up on the idea after a few days. And I will believe in fairy tale romance after a real tear-jerking girlie movie.
    It's a just a movie, we remember, after the effects wear off. Stuff like that doesn't really happen. But the dreamer in us tries to convince us otherwise. Wouldn't life be great if that could happen? Wouldn't things be easier if I knew how to do this? Wouldn't the world be a better place if things worked that way? We are seduced by the possibilities that what if puts forth. To the point that we think we probably could do the things they do in the movies, without wires, and we probably could be attacked by aliens sometime this week, and the guy will remember your anniversary and play that song from the John Hughes movie you loved when you were a teenager.
    But just because we'd like to believe that stuff like that actually can happen doesn't mean we should. We can draw that line between fantasy that movies create, and reality that prevents those things from really happening. We just have to remember that gravity does exist, demons do not, and while true love may exist, the perfect partner does not. Everyone has their flaws and if you love them, you will love them in spite of those flaws.
As enjoyable as it is to lose yourself in a fantasy for a couple hours at a movie, when the movie's over, we have to remember to unplug our brains and come back to reality. Failure to do so can cause serious problems. Usually interpersonal problems rather than psychological or physical, but serious nonetheless.
    People skills succeed or fail based on our ability to evaluate, communicate and understand the people around us. If our expectations of others are unrealistic, whether we think they're a Russian spy or Prince Charming, our ability to live in the world as we know it will fail because we have failed to accurately and effectively evaluate and communicate with the people we interact with on a daily basis.

Back to reality.

Sappy Love Stories

  I watched an old movie last night. So old it was in black and white (gasp!). Some Like It Hot with Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, and Jack Lemmon. I loved it. (Confession time: First time I've seen this one. Go ahead, gasp again.) Marilyn Monroe is more beautiful than ever, endearing, adorable, and of course, blond. Her character is similar to the one she played in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. And the storyline is not an original one--girl falls for the guy who's exactly the type of guy she's trying to stay away from. The only twist is that the guy--Tony Curtis, along with his friend in the film, Jack Lemmon--is a male musician dressed as a woman to escape the mob. Of course, Marilyn doesn't know this through the majority of the movie. But even though he tells her he's everything she's hates, she's already fallen for him.
    I enjoy comedies, and sometimes the old comedies are even better. They've got a wit that most new movies can't match. It's like getting back to real people and remembering what real humor is all about. But this movie isn't just a comedy. It's a romance. Marilyn Monroe, even as a tipsy gold-digger type character, can't help but be funny, sweet, and sexy so that you love her even though her morality may be lacking. And even though Tony Curtis is not a very Nice Guy, love conquers all, as it always does in the movies. Especially the old movies.
    I think one of the best parts in the movies is the scene where Marilyn sings "I want to be loved by you". She's got on this dress, this unbelievably see-through, low-cut, wouldn't-think-you-could-get-away-with-it-in-1959 dress, and she's got her whispery, sultry voice singing the words to this (hopelessly) romantic tune.      Watching old movies always turns me into a sap. But I think there's a reason we still love them even if they seem just as wildly unrealistic as a sci-fi movie or an action movie where everything blows up for no apparent reason--people like to be saps every now and again. It makes the world seem like not such an awful place anymore. And after a long day, or a long week, a cold beer just won't cut it. We need hope to restore our faith in humanity, in people, and in the ability of the human heart to love, despite all the crazy circumstances.

Goodnight, honey.

5 Reasons Why George Lucas Sucks

  Oh, George Lucas, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways. On the one hand, I must congratulate you for putting together the original 3 Star Wars films that I and so many others around the world love so much, but on the other hand, I really wish someone had put a leash on you about fifteen years ago.
    Reason 1: We could have avoided those horrible "prequels" where Yoda is CGI and Samuel L. Jackson is a Jedi. And I don't think I need to get into everything wrong with the decision to cast Hayden Christiansen as Anakin. Seriously. But I could.
    Reason 2: You wouldn't have rereleased the original films in special edition three packs (or four-packs) in which you digitally remastered and added extra scenes, including a brand new CGI Jabba the Hut--scenes that weren't necessary in the first place.
    Reason 3: We wouldn't have an animated version of Attack of the Clones.
    Reason 4: Jar Jar Binks. 
And I'm just getting warmed up. As much as I'd love to give you a free pass on the original Star Wars films, I really wish you'd gotten someone else to write them. (Reason 5) When you can't come up with another way to say: "I've got a bad feeling about this" (count how many times they say this or a strikingly similar term in the original 3 films--go on, I dare you), I think it's time to bring in another creative head.
    I could go on, but I'll leave it at that. The story and the characters in Star Wars are too enjoyable for me to tear the entire empire apart (pun intended). The trilogy has some of the best qualities a good film (or set of films) ought to have, a love story--even a love triangle (however incestuous that one may be--thanks for that one, GL), action, terror, an excellent villain, good triumphing over evil, suspense, and some excellent twists. Darth is Luke's father?? I don't know anyone who saw that one coming.
    So, it's really a love-hate relationship. If we could only get you to stop trying to milk this idea for all it's worth, Mr. Lucas, I think we might actually be able to get along someday. I can watch my DVDs in peace and ignore the CGI scenes interjected into them. (I also hope you have a sense of humor about some constructive criticism.)

Pleeeeease don't deactivate me!

Movie Magic

  Who remembers their first time at the movies? I was very small. So small, in fact, that the theater seemed like it would fit a thousand people. I don't remember exactly which movie I saw the first time at the movie theater, but I do recall one of the first movies I saw at the theater: 101 Dalmatians, the original animated version. Despite my extreme shyness as a child, I was so overwhelmed by the awesome spotted dogs that were outwitting the maniacal Cruella De Vil, that I cried out: "Puppy Power!!" in the middle of the movie, holding up my little stuffed dalmatian that I insisted on carrying with me everywhere at that time.
    My dad only had to tell me once that you're not supposed to yell out in a movie theater, but I'm sure everyone else thought it was pretty funny rather than annoying, so I guess that particular mistake in etiquette was not so bad.
    Throughout the years, I have developed a profound connection and adoration for film. And yes, my admiration extends beyond Disney movies now. I have seen some of the original moving pictures, the ones that are all disjointed and only have music, no dialogue. I've seen the first talkie. I've seen movies in black and white, color, and some movies that tried to combine the two. I've probably seen less than a dozen truly bad movies, because generally, I think most movies have merit in some way, for some people. No movie is for everybody. As much as I'd like to tell everyone in the world they haven't lived until they've seen Casablanca, romance, wartime stories, and even black and white isn't everyone's cup of tea. That's their too bad--because Casablanca is amazing. There are movies that I watch and enjoy the story, but sometimes, I have to marvel at the filmmaking itself. The process. And the magic that movies create as only they can.
    No matter how technologically advanced we become, there is still a thrill in going to the movie theater, sitting down in the squeaky seats, and watching a story play out on a gigantic screen for two hours. You can take my MP3 player, my video games, and my computer, but don't take my DVDs and a TV to watch them on. Even now, after I've been going to movies for about twenty years now, there's still this wonderment and excitement that happens when I go to the movies. I've seen most if not all of the previews already, but when the lights dim and the movie starts, I can shut up, ignore my phone, and lose myself in the film.
    I'm not biased, and I'm not really a movie snob the way some people get to be. I like everything from chick flicks to action movies. I love Die Hard and Jerry Maguire. I am just as big a Star Wars nerd as I am a Wes Anderson fan. And even actors I once disliked usually grow on me after I've seen more of their work. (Ahem, Kevin Bacon, Kim Basinger, and Michael Douglas, to name a few.)
    I can't even say I discriminate the award-worthy movies from the movies that are just there to make you laugh and make money. They all have their value. The former are the last remaining effort to keep filmmaking an art form, and the latter may be fodder for the masses, but they're entertaining, and that's part of what movies should be. Movies don't all have to be educational, or documentaries. They don't all have to be creative works.

"Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, don't you know everyone loves to laugh?"

That's perfectly fine with me.

    I love the movies so much that I will go by myself if no one else is willing to chuck out the $8.75 to $10.50 (or more) it costs nowadays. I don't mind, because I will admit, I'm a pain in the ass to see a movie with because I'm talking (whispering) the entire time, commenting on this thing that reminds me of that movie or that actor who I saw in this other movie.
    Despite the extreme inflation of the cost of going to a movie, a single person can spend $15 to $20 bucks easily on snacks, drinks, and a single admission, people still go. Every weekend. The parking lot is packed and the auditorium showing the new release is always full. Because people love the movies. Maybe not for the same reasons as I do, but they do. Movies make us think and feel things that we didn't always realize we were thinking or feeling. They aren't always true to life, science fiction tries specifically not to be, but it's not the spaceships or magic spells or happily ever after in the movies that gets us to go: it's the people. They may be better looking, but there's something real about the people in the movies, and that's what keeps us going. If we couldn't relate to them, they would cease to hold our attention.
    It's Saturday night, so go catch a movie if it isn't too late, or stay in and watch one with a bowl of microwave popcorn and a cup of soda. They make us laugh, cry, scream, and gasp, and the best movie is one that does it all.

We'll always have Paris.

Nonconformity Is Not Always Rebellion

So, I just saw the new X-Men movie: awesome.
    But there's a deeper point to this one than just lots of action, cool special effects, and pretty people fighting each other. I don't want to read too much into it, but the premise of the X-Men has always been about conformity or nonconformity. Whether to fit in or rebel. Coexist or take over. The conflict is always present, and the decision at hand is something that is terribly relevant for anyone having an identity crisis or experiencing a coming of age, which is one reason the comic book was so popular with young people.
    We may not be quite as unusual as the mutants in the film are, but we all have had that moment or era in life (and if you haven't, don't worry, it's coming) where we had to decide to go along with the status quo or speak out against it. Sometimes this speaking out is peaceable, and sometimes it's violent or disruptive.
    Personally, I can only go along with some things for so long. Eventually, I have to put my foot down and say: this isn't working anymore; or no, I'm not going to do this. But all too often, we conform almost without thinking about it. Or we conform directly as a result of not thinking about it.
    I think we should stop that. Stop not thinking and start thinking. What do you think about the issues? Not what does your favorite television personality think about it, what do YOU think about it? If you come to the conclusion, after careful and deliberate consideration, that you do agree with your TV actor/commentator's opinion after all, fine, but at least you gave it some thought and can back up your reasoning.
    Conformity is about many things. In high school, it's about wearing certain clothes, listening to certain music, watching certain TV shows, or other things that are focused on your appearance, style and likes/dislikes. As a grown up, sometimes it's still about these things, but because your microcosm now extends a little farther beyond yourself, you have to worry about other things. Politics (even if you think you don't care), economics, society. Like it or not, it's important to think about these other things. We can't be egocentric forever.
    Coexistence with people we disagree with is necessary. Just because we don't all agree on things doesn't mean we have to eliminate the opposition. That is called fascism. And we should probably try to avoid that direction. But coexistence doesn't mean we have to keep our mouths shut. We can still argue for what we think and believe in. If we have our opinions, but keep them to ourselves, it's just as bad as not thinking about things and not having opinions, because then a certain group of people can make all the important decisions about politics, society, economics, etc, on their terms.
    Make up your mind and make a stand. It may not always seem like it makes a difference, but it could make all the difference.

Caring is not creepy.

Pros and Cons of Being a Grown-Up

I had a moment this morning, powering through my work and listening to my MP3 (No, I do not have an iPod, for a reason) when I felt very adult-like. Typing fast, jamming out to Suffragette City and Sunshine Highway, and being totally productive, something I'm mostly able to do now that I don't have to leave halfway through the day to go to school. It was awesome.
    While being a grown-up does suck on occasion: losing a significant amount of my paycheck to taxes, paying rent to apartment Nazis that shut off my water every other week, paying bills, the possibility of getting called for jury duty (yeah, good luck with that one--I've got so many addresses my name is connected to in the past five years!). I wish I could think of more grown-up responsibilities that didn't involve money, but unfortunately, it seems that my life does revolve around finances at the moment.
    There are some pluses to being an adult: I can legally purchase alcohol, I can pay for my own gas (that could be a negative, but for me, it's a pretty big responsibility), I can give money to charity and write it off on my taxes, I can rent an apartment, I can complain to the apartment managers and my complaint actually carries weight, and I can buy my own stuff. That may not seem like much, and much of it does still have to do with money, but being able to support yourself, even if it's rather frugally, is a pretty cool thing.
    I've been living off my parents for twenty-two years, and to be able to pay for my own movie tickets, take my parents out to dinner, buy my own groceries, and even cook some of my own meals. So, adulthood has some things going for it, and some things that are a pain in the ass. I do miss childhood though. I enjoyed high school. It was the only time in my life I really had friends. Almost all my friends are long-distance friends now.
    And I enjoyed life when I was little. My Barbies and stuffed animals, the Bailey School Kids books, R.L. Stine books, getting hooked on movies that weren't produced by Disney, learning to read and write, and learning I was pretty good at both. I think I'm still somewhere in between being a kid and being a grown-up. I only act grown-up around other grown-ups. On my own or with people I'm close to, I act like the crazy teenager I was a few years ago.
    As much as I enjoyed being a kid (though at the time, I couldn't grow up fast enough), I like being grown up too, at least 60 or 70 percent of the time. We may take on more responsibilities and have to deal with things way beyond our maturity level being older, but as long as we never lose our childish enthusiasm, we can stay young at heart. (Side note: I just quoted 2 movies and a song in one sentence. Which ones?)

Live long and prosper.