Thursday, October 18, 2012

Whirlwind of a Week

  So, I got a job last week. And I've already left it. I can handle a lot. I'm smart. I work hard. I'm eager to please. I like to learn new things and improve my skills. However, I studied philosophy. I meditate. I am pretty in tune with myself, my abilities, and my limits. My limits were tested this past week.
    At my last job, my limits were also tested, but in a different way. I could have stuck it out there for a while. I was unhappy, but not upset. This job upset me. I was in physical discomfort and mental strain for most of the few days I was there.
I literally had a knot in my stomach working with the boss, and more than once, I was brought to the verge of tears as I drove home because of how stressful it had been. If that is happening during the first few days of a job, it isn't hard to tell that it's not the right place for me to be. There need be no further analysis.
    It was the "method" that the boss used to train that was so stressful. It was hovering, micromanaging, correcting me as I wrote an email or a document--I have never in my life experienced such a lack of trust or confidence in anything I did so much as I experienced this past week. I know I'm knew. I don't expect to get it all right the first time. I'm happy to have somebody look over my work before it's sent out or filed away. But I'm not an idiot--I haven't gained the skills I have through luck or chance. I know that if somebody rewrites my work, it's not because it was so unsatisfactory it couldn't be used. It's because they have too much focus on how "they" would do it.
    I am going to keep looking. I know there is something out there that will offer me what I'm looking for: the chance to learn some new things, meet some great people, and do a good job at whatever I'm doing.
    So, as evidenced by this post being a little later than usual, I've fallen behind because of the tumult this job caused me. I was too exhausted and stressed to get much done over the past few days, but I'm trying to get back on track.
 Know thy limits.

2 comments:

Britt Cormack said...

Good for you! It takes a lot of guts to examine an opportunity (especially a job) which is such a coveted commodity right now -- and to say, this is going to do me more harm than good. And to be able to walk away from something that everyone else tells you is a "necessity" because in fact it is a "necessary evil" -- it's a big sign of confidence in self and really maturing.

Bravo!

Constant Writer said...

Thanks! It's really great to have support on something like this that was such a difficult situation.

I don't think of myself as a quitter, and especially after only giving the job a few days, it really felt that way--like I was giving up too soon. But, I had a bad feeling about it almost immediately after I began, so after learning a little more over the next few days I was there, I decided it wasn't worth the extra anxiety and stress.

I'm not destitute right now and I don't need to put up with that kind of stuff to make ends meet. I'll just keep looking for something else and hope the right thing comes along in the meantime!

+Constant Writer

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